OK

You can let your haters be your motivators or you can run them over with a stolen car. Either way, you're TAKING ACTION.

Longevity is a bummer; keep eating processed foods & watching TV so you don't live 10 extra years with the regret of missing "The Bachelor."

Guys: never forget you're a man. With a man's needs. Like hunting. And football. And curling up in footsie pajamas by a warm fire.

My dream has always been to suddenly discover I'm awesome at crime.

I can't say that your guess is as good as mine, because c'mon, we all know it isn't.

I hear Monsanto is rolling out a new line of conscience-killing pesticides.

I bet the kids in Africa are really getting tired of all those leftover Patriots Championship t-shirts.

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The world is secretly run by old men playing chess in the park?

8%6 votes
1%1 votes
89%61 votes

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