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GREAT MOMENTS IN SB COMMERCIAL HISTORY: 1984-In homage to Orwell, a giant projection warns a dystopian future "You'll all be Apple's Bitch."

Bad move by Obama to release that photo of him firing a shotgun because now we all know that he tucks his t-shirt into his jeans.

Beating your brother's team in the Super Bowl has to be like giving him a wedgie on his soul.

I don't need an alarm clock because knowing that time is constantly passing me by is alarming enough to jolt me out of bed in the morning.

The closest I'll ever get to being "spiritual" is laughing and eating French fries with a cute girl wearing a one-piece bathing suit.

I wanna be the guy that gets to drive a bulldozer down the street like it's no big fuckin' deal.

Gym advice: Don't bust into the gym shower and throw bars of Zest soap at people and scream "You're not fully clean until you're zestfully clean!"

Poll

Is it a bad sign when the ghosts of William Burroughs and Charles Bukowski are at your intervention.

55%22 votes
22%9 votes
22%9 votes

| 40 votes | Vote | Results

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