Judging politicians by their speeches is the equivalent of judging cars by their salesmen.
I told a guy 'the problem with the US is they don't want regular Americans to think' and he said 'who's they.' They win again.
I hope everyone's had a great day exceeding customer expectations and enhancing shareholder value and dying a little inside!
I've noticed that the most widely used interpretation of the First Amendment seems to be "freedom to be completely wrong."
Live your life as if there aren't tiny drones spying on all you do.
I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
Life: Everything is harder than we want it to be, then we die alone and are forgotten. But in the meantime, COOKIES, MOTHERFUCKERS.
No matter how many lightbulbs I smash over my head, I still have no idea what you're talking about.