New Tip Jar HOS Policy
To: The Daily Kos Diarists
From: Pluto, a Planet in Your Solar System
Subject: The Careless Use of Astronomical Diagnosis in Service of an Anti-Science Agenda
Whatever the merits or demerits of your desire to see a lessening of the number of planets in the solar system -- and I'm guessing you're just too lazy to memorize all nine of us -- you are hereby put on notice that armchair astronomy from the comfort of your keyboard will result in automatic Hide Rating of your Tip Jar by this writer.
Employment of the "non planet with a demotion" meme is out of bounds. Write, if you must, of slackers with a demotion, or bores with a demotion, or troublemakers with a demotion, or any other meaningless and over-broad stereotype you wish. I'll let the slacking boorish troublemakers defend themselves.
I may be a bit of a slacker and a bore. Oh, and I suppose I'm something of a troublemaker -- but in a tasteful and witty way. It is time, however, that you stopped smearing me and my brother and sister exo-planets with your ignorance of what non-planet status really is and isn't, how we veteran planets with non-planet status, do and do not behave.
Too many of you -- in your eagerness to see planets like me marginalized and demoted -- have demonstrated exactly how little you know about non-planet status. You cavalierly toss out memes to label a space rock you don't have a clue about. Nor has it even been established that my non-planetary status -- diagnosed by a mediocre wannabe astronomer -- is going to stand for long. I'd like to see him juggle five moons.
How many of you understand the shame and embarrassment of a public demotion? Have I not orbited the Sun as faithfully as the Earth? When you call me a non-planet, it hurts! Am I not the victim here of a vast army of armchair astronomers? Who's next? Uranus? You hardly ever send probes and try to understand us. You just lean back in your La-Z-Boy® recliners and pronounce us non-planets!
I can't make you not sprawl your ignorance all over the internet, but, unless the banhammer stops me I've got five HRs a day. Please let me end every day with the same five.
(Oh and please oh please oh please let Meteor Blades rec this Diary, too.)