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i have always been skinny until my early 30s when i started to gain weight.  as i was gaining the weight i tried hard to stop it and lose the weight.  but i had no idea why i was gaining weight, so, i did everything wrong to lose it.  

eventually, i figured out that it was a combination of having settled into a desk job that demanded a lot more than 40 hours a week from me, so, i wasn't out and about doing all the things i used to do.  and i was working so much that i didn't have time to cook, so, i bought a lot of fast food.  and i was not getting enough sleep, so, i was drinking a lot of soda.  

when i figured those things out i made adjustments to work a job in my industry that wasn't as demanding of my time so i could get sleep and prepare healthy food to eat and get out and do things again and i completely quit drinking sugar soda.  and i stopped gaining weight.

but now i still have to lose all of this weight that i gained and it's hard as hell.  i can't just cut more calories, because i get low blood sugar and i will go into shock.  i can't just go running because my knees and feet can't take the weight.  i was skinny my whole life until i gained this weight, so, while this is weight that a big farm boy would consider normal and go out and play football with, i don't have the frame to carry it well.  

so, i have to walk a lot to try to lose this weight.  but i am busy, so, i can't walk 3 hours a day.  i have to fit walking into my life.  i park at the far end of parking lots.  take the stairs instead of elevators.  i drive my wife to school every day and park far away and walk the 20 minutes to her library where i have my laptop to work while she's in class.  then we walk back together and stop off at the gym at her school and i work out for half an hour on weights.

slowing i am chipping away at this weight.  but every time i see myself in a reflection i am ashamed and embarrassed.  i just look away.  i don't even recognize myself sometimes.  inside i feel like i am still the same me i was my whole life.  but there's this other person in the reflection.  and worse than that, ever time i see myself, i am reminded of the fact that i am not just losing weight to look skinny again.  i am losing weight so i don't die early.  

in fact, that's really the reason that keeps me from giving up on losing the weight when it seems like it's taking forever.  i am terrified of dying from a heart attack or getting diabetes.  i am 38 and i HAVE to lose this weight now or I am going to be taking years off of my life.  maybe even decades.  i love my wife and my family and friends and i love living my life and i am afraid that if i fail to lose this weight that i am getting near an age when i could just die from it.  

and that brings me to Gov Chris Christie.  i am in total shock over how many people here on Daily Kos are using this situation between Gov Christie and the ex white house doctor as an opportunity to use the Gov's weight to score political points against him and even worse to just make fat jokes about him.  i never thought i would read a front page diary ending in a fat joke.

my estimation of many people on Daily Kos has just plummeted.  including the front page writer who made multiple fat jokes, the commenters who joined in the chorus and Markos and the rest of the Daily Kos editors who haven't taken down the diary and apologized for it.  

thanks for making sure that everyone who is a part of this community who is overweight knows that it's their own fault if they can't take being told that they shouldn't get that job because they are so fat they might die.  and if they get upset and voice it they just have thin skin.  

haha.  thin.  

so so funny.

10:53 PM PT: if you can't understand why it's upsetting that someone is told they can't be President because they are so fat they may die then you must not know that people are passed over for jobs and promotions because they are overweight all the time.  Jobs and promotions that have NOTHING to do with their weight.  

I appreciate the angry response that Christie had for the doctor, because I felt like he was angry not just for himself but for all of the people who are overweight who are discriminated against.

Oh, but it's not discrimination because people choose to be fat.  I forgot about that.  Oh wait, people choose their religion, don't they?  And being overweight is so different from drinking and smoking.  Hey, maybe we should go back and redo the 2012 election and get Mr 47% who's in great shape and doesn't even drink caffeine in the white house.

The truth is that Gov Chris Christie won't be president if he runs because he is overweight, but not because of what it does to his health.  It will be for the same reason overweight people get passed over for jobs all the time.  Because people don't want to look at them.  THAT is the real hard truth of this.


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