I'd probably feel better about myself if I weren't always being followed around by all these anthropologists with clipboards.

You can argue with blind faith with the most perfectly painted representative pictures of your cause, but blind faith don't care to see.

You’re doing something right if most of your conversations end with “Well fuck you too.”

I only trust people who are somewhat suspicious of my own motives.

The main problem is that the ones that need help the most are told they need someone to talk to rather than someone to talk with.

Don't let your perceptions be clouded by the biases of others. Because fuck people, man.

Ingredients for a good night's sleep: exercise, deep breathing, earplugs, vodka, narcotics, mallet to the noggin.

Take your credit card receipt and crumple it up and say "I may play ball, but I will never sign that" and then drive off blasting Slow Ride.

I don't have any more expectations, can I play with yours?


People who sing along to songs were put on this planet to counterbalance things like happiness and puppies.

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