Attribution: USNews

Man, you gotta love those young conservatives. Whether it's cracking ass jokes about the First Lady or making fake pimp costumes, they know how to have some yucks, huh?

That ribaldry was on display after hours at CPAC, where two thousand revelers were expected to attend an "Obama Zombies" theme party where

young conservatives will get to spend their last living hours being transformed into a flesh-eating walker from the AMC show The Walking Dead, with the help of Hollywood makeup artists on site. Each living dead attendee will also get a "mingle stick," which holds all of his or her contact information and can be tapped with another mingle stick to get someone else's information, "somebody that YOU want to survive with in the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy," the invite cautions.
The invitation sounds the alarm about the nefarious agenda of the "Obama zombies":
"First they come for your brains, then they come for your ballots."
Because we all recall the numerous Democratic initiatives to restrict the votes of young, white conservatives in the last election, right?

Still, cons masking as the undead is pretty apt. They hold up as an inspiration a president who physically expired nearly a decade ago and who looked rather zombesque for decades before that.

Their ideas are equally deathless (and brainless), from the maker/taker horror stories of long-dead welfare queen Ayn Rand to baby zombie Bobby Jindal's plan to ditch our state's income tax by increasing our already high sales tax (though not on services like oil drilling, lawyering and advertising--can't be hurtin' bidness, you know), a scheme straight from Never-President Steve Forbes, whose undying career as a font of harebrainery epitomizes political undeadness.

Everything about their movement smacks of zombidity. Their Gilded Age economics. Their Victorian social views. The distinct lack of brain nourishment in their diets.

But they are right about one thing: we are indeed in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, the surest sign of which is always its denial by government leaders. That the majority of members of the House of Representatives pretend they're doing their jobs and carrying on with the normal business of governance, and that the president of the country goes along with the pretense, is an undead giveaway.

Bonus track:

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