My birthday is a little over a week away, and what most people would consider a time of celebration is, for me, a reminder that I'm getting older, and that despite all I've managed to do for myself, I still have next to nothing to show for it, at least not financially, anyway.

It's easy to feel down and out when you don't know what direction you should go. I know I find myself questioning my decision to go back to school for a chance at a better life. I won't deny that my life has actually improved in many ways, but the one thing that seems to have stayed the same is my lack of ability to obtain or maintain employment.

I've proven that I can do a job as well as anyone. Hell, a person going for a paying position doing what I do as a volunteer would need at least a Bachelor's Degree to get a foot in the door. I'm willing to continue my education, but it's not worth the mountain of debt I'd have to take on just to do it, because even then my chances of becoming employed are next to none down here.

I've also had family members tell me I should pray for a job. I've never been the religious type. I don't have the time or need for it, and to be honest, I find that those folks who often claim to be steeped in religious dogma are often the most insincere and condescending people on the planet. They couldn't hold a candle to a person like Martin Luther King or Ghandi. Sure, they had their flaws, but they preached and practiced social justice. So when I hear someone say I should pray for employment, it's like a spit in the face.

So here I am, just wandering day to day trying to figure myself out. It sure would be nice if we didn't have a media and a political system that didn't work day and night to make us feel worthless. Sure, that's asking too much of this country, but one can dream, right?

See you around,


Originally posted to The Aspie Corner on Fri Mar 22, 2013 at 08:50 AM PDT.

Also republished by KOSpectrum.

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