I got that text late two nights ago. Of course a thousand things raced through my mind. Most of those thoughts stalled by the directive 'Don't come up.'

I've wondered since I started this relationship if this would happen. No, not the trip to the ER. It was a medication issue and since resolved by the way. But the need to maintain what is euphemistically termed in the Transgender community 'discretion.' But even if I had gone to the hospital I have no legal way of joining him. And I can't deny him the multigenerational family bonds that he came with.

Discrete because dating a Transgender person is the most sexually deviant act one could make and remain within the bounds of the law. I can't deny my partner is taking considerable risk in even spending time with me.

Someone that dates Transgender people can lose their:


All because the person they are in a relationship with is different. There isn't a great effort to promote protections of our relationships in any sense. And in some states it is literally illegal for a Transgender person to marry at all.

As we are thrown under the bus in many civil rights bills getting our relationships recognized as acceptable is an uphill battle. Knowing we are still at the outing means disaster stage of community acceptance is frustrating.

Originally posted to TransAction on Fri Mar 22, 2013 at 05:44 PM PDT.

Also republished by Sex, Body, and Gender.

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