I recently found myself in an argument with relative who is a math teacher and devout christian.  He uses the typical arguments against same-sex marriage such as "God Forbids it" and "it will just lead to people marrying a tree!".  So I grabbed a piece of paper and pencil and decided to put it in terms he could understand.  I presented the argument as follows:

The government can not discriminate against individuals based on gender.  Therefore in the eyes of the law Man = Woman, if Man = A then Woman = A, therefor A + A = 2A.  Follow me so far?  Good.

The government also allows marriage between two consenting adults who are not related by blood.  Therefore if we say a man and woman who are adults and who are not related can be represented by 2A, then 2A = Marriage.  We good so far? (Agreeing to this, he didn't realize I had just won the debate right there, but I continued).

So let's apply this principle to the following scenarios: (After the squiggle of life of course).

If Man = A, and Woman = A, then Man + Woman = 2A.  2A=Marriage.  2A is the control, and is defined as marriage.

We will use the following variables.
Man = A
Woman = A
Child = C
Beast = B
T = Tree
Blood Relatives = Ar

Traditional marriage
Man + Woman = Marriage?
A + A = 2A.  True

Same-Sex Marraige
Woman + Woman = Marriage?
A + A = 2A.  True
Man + Man = Marriage?
A + A = 2A.  True

Polygamy Marriage
Man + Woman + Man = Marriage?
A + A + A = 3A.  False
Woman + Woman + woman + woman + man = Marriage?
A + A + A + A + A = 5A.  False

Adult/Child Marriage
Man + Child = Marriage?
A + C = A + C.  False
Woman + Child = Marriage?
A + C = A + C.  False

Tree Marriage (or any other object).
Man + Tree = Marriage?
A + T = A + T.  False
Woman + Shoe = Marriage?
A + T = A + T.  False

Adult/Animal Marraige
Man + Goat = Marriage?
A + B = A + B.  False
Woman + Newt (Not Gingrich) = Marriage?
A + B = A + B.  False

Two Siblings or blood related marriages?
Brother + Sister = Marriage?
Ar + Ar = 2Ar.  False

Needless to say his only response was muttering something about God.

And you told your math teacher you'd never use algebra...

Go ahead, use math to solve the marriage problem.  Along with love, it is the universal language.

Originally posted to PRRedlin on Fri Apr 05, 2013 at 06:56 PM PDT.

Also republished by Kossacks for Marriage Equality.


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