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http://www.theonion.com/...

ORLANDO, FL—Saying they were working diligently to address the problem, Walt Disney World officials acknowledged Wednesday that several dozen unauthorized characters, none of which have ever appeared in a Disney film or cartoon, had been found in recent weeks wandering throughout the theme park.

Company sources confirmed that at least 60 separate individuals in costumes, including various woodland creatures, several fairies, and what officials described as a walrus in a lab coat, have been spotted greeting visitors, hugging children, posing for pictures, and meandering into daily parades alongside sanctioned Disney characters.

While security reportedly kicks out an average of 20 unauthorized characters each day from the theme park and Disney Family Breakfasts at onsite hotel properties, sources stated that nearly all return to the premises. Disney workers claimed that some reenter park property within just hours of their expulsion, citing in particular a muskrat named King Stumpy as well as a boisterous prospector character calling himself Grandpappy Gizzards, who has been forcibly removed from Frontierland every day since mid-February.

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