OK

I don't write diaries very often, in fact it took me a few minutes to navigate the site in order to post this one.

I blame Christians.  For the bombs in Boston.  For Texas too, but only half-heartedly.

That seems like an unnecessarily inflammatory thing to say.  Why do I blame Christians?  Let me enumerate the reasons.

The world is a complex place.  People have all kinds of different objectives, beyond the immediate needs of food & shelter.  People create identities, share goals and ideologies, belong to groups, act in their own self-interest- but when that self-interest seems thwarted, impossible to pursue, they act in seemingly randomly violent ways.  This violence only seems random; when we study primate societies the reasons for this violence jump out and smack us in the face.  But, we don’t like to think that we are just another species of primate, subject to the same evolutionary forces as all the other monkeys.  Why?  We’re Christians.  We’re special, dammit.  We have souls.

Why does Christianity cause this selective blindness, this stupidization of society?  It’s built-in to the belief system.  There are numerous Biblical supports for virtuous, deliberate stupidity.  

Proverbs 3:5-6
King James Version (KJV)
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
So, turn off your brain, trust in God.  Since you can’t hear whatever God is saying, trust in your Priest/Minister/Pastor, since He is god’s interpreter.  Don’t be overthinking all of this, God wants you to turn off your brain and do what He says.  It’s written right there in the Bible.

In case there was any doubt:

 Genesis 3:1-6
Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
So: God commands you not to do something symbolic (eat the apple), because if you do, you shall come to an understanding of good and evil, and that is bad.   That understanding of good or evil is forbidden to you, you must remain stupid, ignorant, unable to judge for yourselves.  That’s what your God wants.  If you disobey, you are enthralled by the Serpent, Satan himself, and your brain is but an unwilling pawn of Shaitan.  What does the good Christian do?  Shut up and do  whatever God says, otherwise you are a servant of the Devil.  Presumably hellbound.  Thinking for yourself?  Sure path to Hell.

What does this have to do with Boston and Texas?  Well, Boston appears to have been the result of similarly stupidized Islamic kids.  If Americans weren’t stupized by their own religion, they might have paid attention to the Chechen conflict, the spread of Wahhabi Islamism in the former Soviet Republics, funding for same from all corners of the globe, the appeal of said Wahhabism to disaffected youths and arseholes from all corners of the globe.  BUT: True Christians follow what their leaders say, and disregard the evidence of their own eyes.  In this case, their leaders have spoken unanimously: the terra’ists hate us for our freedoms.  So, destroy our freedoms, they won’t hate us anymore!  Easy!  Plus: terra’ists are part of the Ayrab hordes that are threatening Jerusalem, and as the Bible plainly says, a Jerusalem under attack will bring about the 2nd coming of Christ, Armageddon, free Jelly Donuts for everyone, and a bunch of other stuff.  And that’s a good thing!  So say the Christian pastors on the  TeeVee.  And thinking too much about all this is the work of Shaitan, so we must shut the f-up and accept whatever our betters, those ordained by God, have spoken about all this shit.  On the TeeVee, or in the pulpit, on Sunday.

So what does a good Christian do about all of this?  Well, if there’s a Christian in the White House, the good Christian does whatever the Ordained one says.  If there’s a godless  Mooslim the White House, the Good Christian is a little confused, but angry, and willing to follow.  Never fear, the TeeVee Pastors will tell you what to do.  It’s all the fault of abortion and gay marriage, or something.  Just vote however they tell you, and you’re doing your part.  Whatever you do, don’t think for yourself. Don’t ask why 2 kids from Chechnya bombed a marathon, or why there are apparently no regulations in Texas for dangerous, explosive chemicals.  It’s all part of God’s plan.

How is this the fault of abortion, gay marriage, and workplace health & safety regulations?  A careful reading of the Bible shows that God blesses or punishes entire societies for following or disobeying something-or-other.  Since America persists in not following the dictates of Christian Oracles such as Pat Robertson on the subject of abortion and gay marriage, God must necessarily punish the nation as a whole.  This is Justice.  Just like in the days of David, who ordered a census to count the number of people in the Nation.  God was angry. He killed 70,000 men (how many women and children?) with a plague.  Why?  What, are you trying to piss off the Lord?  He said No Census, that’s why!  Stop thinking about this shit, He commanded you not to think for yourself (2 Samuel 24).  Why is this godless gay marriage shit to blame for West, Texas?  Because Pat Robertson said so, that’s why.  Never fear, if only America were a PURE Christian nation, none of this bad shit would happen.  Because God protects his Chosen people.  And if bad shit happens, it’s not God’s fault, it’s because we haven’t been following His commandments, like expelling the Unbelievers from our midst, or because we have presumed to regulate how close dangerous chemicals like ammonium nitrate can be kept to public facilities like schools, or nursing homes.  Plus, accidents happen. Why is that important?  What are you, in thrall of Shaitan?  The Bible says, you can’t think for yourself about any of this.  Just vote for whomever the Bible says you should vote, and you’re guaranteed your place in Heaven.

And why exactly is America God’s chosen Nation?  Because America is a Christian nation, that’s why,  And that’s why True Christian-Americans must fight against oppression, against those who would make America into a godless, secular, Communist nation.  Because God’s special plan is for America to be a Christian nation, a nation He can accept unto His bosom, to have and to hold and to bless and to punish with plagues and terra’ist attacks when we disobey His commandments.  That’s what the Founding Fathers meant when they wrote: "Suppose a nation in some distant Region should take the Bible for their only law Book, and every member should regulate his conduct by the precepts there exhibited! Every member would be obliged in conscience, to temperance, frugality, and industry; to justice, kindness, and charity towards his fellow men; and to piety, love, and reverence toward Almighty God ... What a Eutopia, what a Paradise would this region be." (John Adams).  Therefore, America is God’s chosen Nation, a Special Possession, a shining beacon upon the hill (of Zion).

In conclusion: these troubles, these terra’ist attacks are the work of Shaitan, to test the faithful, and to thwart the designs of our mighty God, who has made us into a special possession.  They are the punishment of our Lord, Jesus, for our transgressions re. abortion and gay marriage and science and evolution.  The good Christian will listen to the voice of his Master, and do, and especially vote & give money to, whomever the Lord Himself has designated as His true Shepherd on Earth. And that means no Mooslims.

In case it’s not 100% obvious by now, this diary is satire.  I do not blame anyone but the person or persons who actually planted and detonated the bombs, as well as those in Texas who presumably put profits over safety.  My wish is that society as a whole, and agencies directly responsible, will take a firm but nuanced approach to both these tragedies.  We must learn to spot disaffected youths before they go on rampages, but more than that we must open our hearts and society as a whole to give youths the hope that they have a future, that they matter, that they are not chattel to be disposed of at will by bansksters.  We must further create a regulatory system by which a human life is valued at more than a few pounds of fertilizer, where the costs of ignoring basic safety protocols far outweigh the profits to be made by selling these same.  What does Christianity have to do with any of this?  Hopefully, nothing.  But from watching Christian Pastors on the TeeVee, they won’t accept their irrelevance.  And there is no shortage of stupidized followers to carry on the fight, who are willing to close their eyes to the evidence and force their narrative of Ultimate good vs. evil onto these events.

In case my previous disclaimer of satire wasn’t taken seriously, I might point out that I was raised in a fundie Christian house where this sort of argument was a daily staple, and I of course was expelled, shunned, for daring to go to a reputable school (with a library!) and I eventually disputed the historicity of the Noachian Flood account.  Because, for them, thinking is the greatest sin of all.  Of course, if I cared one whit about political correctness and what a group of people thought about me, I never would have left my parents’ cult.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.