From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
A seed blew through my window one dayCheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
And settled on the floor
It must've blown a long long way
Three hundred miles? Maybe four?
Twas very small and very light
What could it be, I did wonder.
So I potted it in soil that night
Nestled 'bout two inches under.
It sprouted quick, then grew some more
Six inches…then a foot.
The stalk was green with shoots galore
This thing had taken root.
It bore some food that I could eat
From plate or pan or jar.
I served it with a slab of meat
And a frosty PBR.
But now I curse that demon seed
Cuz I'm sitting here in jail.
That seed was a Monsanto seed
Now please, sir or madam...can you help me make my bail?
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, May 20, 2013
Note: [Sniff Sniff!] I detect a three-day weekend ahead. Smells like corn on the cob and freedom pie. Not necessarily in that order.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the special election in Massachusetts to fill John Kerry's old seat: 36
Days 'til the Down East Spring Birding Festival around Cobscook Bay: 4
Estimated number of sexual assaults in the military in FY2012, up 37% from 2011: 26,000
Percent of reported cases of sexual assault in the military that resulted in a trial: 10%
Percent of victims who felt like they were retaliated against for coming forward: 62%
(Source: Defense Dept.)
Number of state governors who do and don't, respectively, support expanding Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act: 28 / 20 (KS and SD are on the fence)
(Source: USA Today)
Percent of adults who say their creative ideas are sparked by sudden inspiration, versus lengthy deliberation: 58%
(Source: Time/MPAA/Microsoft survey)
NEW! California Dreamin'
Brought to you by the 2013 Netroots Nation Convention in San Jose, June 20-23. Can you imagine if every community was as committed about going green as San Jose? Holy methane-free cow, Batman, check this out:
Through The Green Vision, by the year 2022 the City of San José, in tandem with its residents and businesses, will:And then they'll break for lunch.
• Create 25,000 Clean Tech Jobs as the World Center of Clean Innovation
• Reduce Per Capita Energy Use by 50%
• Receive 100% of Our Electrical Power from Clean, Renewable Sources
• Build or Retrofit 50 Million Square Feet of Green Buildings
• Divert 100% of waste from Landfill and Convert Waste to Energy
• Recycle or Beneficially Reuse 100% of our Wastewater
• Adopt a General Plan with Measurable Standards for Sustainable Development
• Ensure that 100 Percent of public Fleet Vehicles Run on Alternative Fuels
• Plant 100,000 New Trees and Replace 100 Percent of Our Streetlights with Smart, Zero Emission Lighting
• Create 100 Miles of Trails connecting with 400 miles of on-street bikeways
Puppy Pic of the Day (via NonnyO): Graduation day
CHEERS to a rational, measured response. Andrew Sullivan is a middle-of-the-road pundit who, like most MORers, runs hot and cold with me. But when he's hot, he's hot...especially when it's Peggy Noonan's asininity ("We are in the midst of the worst Washington scandal since Watergate") pissing him off:
Has he traded arms for hostages with Iran? Has he knowingly sent his cabinet out to tell lies about his sex life? Has he sat by idly as an American city was destroyed by a hurricane? Has he started a war with no planning for an occupation? Has he started a war based on a lie, and destroyed the US’ credibility and moral standing while he was at it, leaving nothing but a smoldering and now rekindled civil sectarian war? So far as I can tell, this president has done nothing illegal, unethical or even wrong. […]I posted this not to make your blood pressure spike so early in the week, but to give you something to reference when your blood pressure spikes later in the week as Not-A-Scandalgate continues in our morally-bankrupt nation's capital. BYOB.
I would say, especially after the catastrophic consequences of the last president, and the continuous siege of the Clinton White House, Obama’s record is extraordinarily clean and remains so.
JEERS mass yawnage. This is as surprising as it is depressing, considering that America is known for nothing if not second chances: a majority of We The People now wants Congress to bag gun control legislation and move on to something else, thus ceding authority on the issue to the roughly 10 percent who want nothing done. Or, to put it more succinctly, our nation is saying: "Let's wait and see which random group of us gets massacred next so we can remember why we need stricter gun regulations." Three words: worst lottery ever.
CHEERS to today's words of wisdom from Senator Elizabeth Warren, who recently introduced the Bank on Students Loan Fairness Act, which would let students take advantage of the low rates offered to big banks at least until Congress gets off its lazy ass and does something more permanent to lower student loan interest rates:
JEERS to moving day in Dixie. Li'l Civil War nugget: on May 20, 1861, the Confederate Congress agreed to pack its bags and move the capital from Montgomery, Alabama to Richmond, Virginia. I believe a similar event would take place 51 years later with the deck chairs on the Titanic.
wearing a loincloth gets
C&J's stamp of approval.
Could you guys help me? You might have to register as lobbyists, but you can help me out."It's in his DNA.
CHEERS to the Energizer Diva. Hold on to your feather boas, boomers, this may make your bones feel a little creaky: Cher turns 67 today. In fairness, she still looks as young as she did during her fifth farewell tour.
Five years ago in C&J: May 20, 2008
CHEERS to today's double-header. Not that there's a whole lot of suspense involved, but the results of today's Kentucky and Oregon primaries could give Barack Obama a majority of pledged delegates. If so, it could also make history for me personally---the first time in 20 years that the candidate I backed from the beginning of primary season actually became the nominee. (Gary Hart---[sniff!]---you and I came this close to having it all...)
JEERS to fallen heroes. Oh Mac, say it ain't so! A McCain campaign bigwig---part of the D.C. lobbyist bloc the "maverick" swears he hates---resigned for unconscionable skullduggery. And then another resigned. And another. And another. And then yesterday...another. Which, if my math is correct, leaves McCain with exactly one person left on his senior campaign staff: his mom.
And just one more…
CHEERS to Jimmy Stewart. Happy 105th Birthday to one of the few actors whom I'd watch in absolutely anything except porn. He had more great roles than we can count. (The Hitchcocks, the Capras and the westerns are just the tip of the iceberg), but here are two favorite moments from each end of his life: learning from Jean Arthur how a bill winds its way through the Senate in 1939's Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and his 1981 Tonight Show tribute to his dog Beau that always reduces me to rubble:
Tears to start your Monday. It just seemed appropriate.
That's all I got for the moment. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:-
"Everybody in 'Cheers and Jeers'---except for poor Bill in Portland Maine---is gorgeous, successful and rich in the way only sitcom families can be."
---Lisa Barnard, Toronto Star