“We must disenthrall ourselves from the (GOP) establishment’s anti-idea” philosophy, “The Republican establishment is just plain wrong about how it approaches politics. The Republican consulting class is just plain wrong about how it approaches politics.”
- Newt Gingrich May 11th, 2013
If America was a hijacked 9/11 plane right now the GOP would be handing out razor blades and telling you; “sit down, everything’s fine, we have this bomb”. Don’t worry though, it isn’t like that. If for no other reason than Republicans just aren’t capable being even that sophisticated anymore.
America is a 1972 Cadillac El Dorado with the top cut off burning gas like a beautiful cancer as we roll on one less cylinder than the factory intended and throwing a little oil sure, but soft on the shocks approaching 72 and 73 miles an hour as the kids in back watch us race Warren Buffet’s suddenly well loaded trains down the Mason Dixon Line of our absolute destiny.
We aren’t hijacked.
What we are is in some ways worse.
America just got up to speed again and suddenly we are being pulled over by a dimwitted local crew of deputy jingoists. An illiterate posse of high hipped gun bulls has drawled out from behind the big billboard for menthol smokes, out in the hill country where everyone smart knows that the county line is wherever Sheriff Conner’s boys say it is. There might be an old empty beercan under the seat, but this driver has been meticulous about keeping under the legal speed limit and obeying all the new standards for turn signals and merging and such.
See him smile for the hateful bystanders as he twists the big machine through a bad traffic jam of road rage animosity and potholed infrastructure. It is something the man is actually quite good at and has been for many years. His restraint and moderation has gotten him no end of crusty heat from the back seat where the calls for more weight on the gas pedal still echo. Today however is different. Today the kids can clearly see why this driver, on these roads, is faced with a tired and sad obligation to uphold some kind of shining display of perfect citizenship during every turn behind the wheel.
Many people you have never met are entirely versed in the most common ritual of unprivileged youth in America: Every hand in the car raised fingers up and flat, visible through every notch of window glass. Eyes forward, no talking, turn the light on. Police papers and travel passes at the ready. No sudden movements like sneezing or scratching your leg. Failure to follow these rules is a sure ticket to the filth chamber after a series of swiftly brutal ass kickings intended to demean even the brightest lads.
Even the President of the United States.
So welcome to the machine, America: As you read about the next "scandal", like this drunken tumult of complaints that the tax collecting branch of the government had the temerity to investigate some proudly armed, revolution espousing anti-tax radicals, keep one thing in mind (and while you kids in the back raise your empty hands where the jackbooted sheriffs can see them from behind the car):
You just got pulled over for
driving presiding, while black.