This is all beta stuff.  Local news refers to Bellingham Wa.  This one is from a couple of months back.  Not all is outdated.

New text books in Louisiana teach children that people lived with dinasaurs.  This proves that the third dimension is not inviolate.  Sixty five million years are nothing.  Fossil records are cited as proof that God has a sense of humor.  Some of his {or her}followers not so.

In local news, Over a  year has passed and charges against four tresspassers in Marine Heritage Park have not been dismissed.  Refusing to give up First amendment Rights to peaceably assemble has garnered protesters a marathon of appearances and some cost.  With our crime level in Whatcom county being at near zero it's understandable that this heinous transgression of the law is being pursued.  "Those people should have been thrown in the bay" says a fan of free speech for people who agree with him.  Allowing people to demand that we focus on fixes for debilitating problems won't solve anything.  Troopers in full riot gear will.  I don't know why the speedy trial thing has been so conspicuously absent when complete dismissal would take less time than it took those officers to suit up.  It' d take more time to say speech ain't always free but not by much.  Let me be clear, these are scary people.  I'm not sure however, which ones I mean.

Wall street demands sovereignty calling themselves a vatican of profit that is way above the law. Remourseful banksters call for more regulations as otherwise they could never stop stealing.  
Massive corporations chime in "Hey aren't we above the law too?"  Prematurely dead employees  do not comment.

In science news, a solar system has been discovered inside a molecule.  No word yet on whether intelligent life exists there, or here.

Opponents of expanded public educational opportunities rally to demand more prisons.  There's education we can believe in.

A paranoid envirnmental group in northern California holds a conference and doesn't invite anyone.  A few show up anyway and aren't let in.  A little warming was evident.  Climate change is not blamed.

A move has been made to stream line elections.  The candidates with the most pledges of support will be given the posts as voters rarely vote differently.  The money needn't even be spent. The Senate does just fine with  minority rule by a filibuster they don't even have to do.  Same difference.

The aggressive privatization movement in the U.S. Has been privatized.  Profits will be allowed for efforts to justify extracting maximum profits from everything and everyone irregardless of any other considerations.  Tax payers will foot the bill.  Money approves.

Third party members of congress refuse to admit that there are mushrooms in that tea they reference in their name.  If verified, the fact that they [the mushrooms] grow on cow pies explains a lot.Some members claim they could grow on cow pies too if they wanted.  Koch head members smile.

Virginia Warren speaks the truth in congress.  Many members are appalled.

Dennis Kucinich is hired by Fox.  Now that's funny.  

Congress vows to continue legalizing crime if enough money is involved.  The Supreme court demands some credit.  The department of justice is strangely silent.

Obama admits he was born in Kenya.  Donald Trump has known this to be the truth as he grew up next door to Baraque[or Barry as he was known then] and he and Donny kicked around a lot of goat skin balls together before they both became famous.

Congress sets aside three days of their session to focus on the work they were sent to Washington to
do.  Pundits say that distraction from distraction is unacceptable and won't be tolerated.

Citizens nationwide call for a back to the future move with real financial reregulation and healthcare reform that vets all options and scores the good ones.  John Boehner brings down his big gavel on that one.  More than one congress person snickers.

Wiki-leaks is called a trickle down of free speech and truth.  Unlike the last trickle down it isn't  salty, nor can it continue to exist.  Threats to expose bankster shenanigans are sacrilage.

 The U.S. Begins minting billion dollar coins to help in the facilitation of large deals that seem so prevalent these days.  This also gives us some control over our own money.  The phrase "I'll give you all the change in my pocket " may take on a whole different meaning.

Twelve day weeks have been adopted in many places.  The year becomes shorter as there are only thirty weeks.  As an extra bonus you get five free days and some times six.  Calender makers are suing as demand for new product has plummeted.

The word blowback has been banned.  Too many guilty, powerful, well connected, self interested persons have too much time on their hands and a lot more.

Fees for accessing the Freedom of Information Act have gone up.

To bolster sagging ratings, Fox network, for a week, switched live broadcasters with cartoon characters from popular Fox shows.  Forty percent of normal Fox viewers noticed the difference.  Sixty five percent of cartoon show viewers noticed the change.  P undits lambast the use of the word "normal" in characterizing these viewers.

The too big to jail crowd in financial industries cite the cost of putting barbed wire around a whole golf course as a legitimate concern.  Harm to the catering industry is also mentioned.

A little known bit in the Affordable Care Act has resulted in all congress persons being denied access to health care until all Americans are afforded the same level of coverage.  Budget hawks decry the move saying "that's not fair, those people work for a living.  Their taxes are meant to support us so we can continue to obstruct any meaningful legislation."  Drug companies pledge campaign support.

Breaking news, Grover Norquist has been flushed down a toilet. The EPA vacillates on whether to list him as toxic waste or not.

The left has joined the movement to rewrite history.  When Reagon demanded that the wall be torn down he was talking about wall street.  Reports that he was talking to Gorbachev are false.  Jefferson quotes are unavailable as his influence on this country has been minimized.  Rush will comment ad nauseum.  Texan text books will be burned.

Color is being eliminated from all public discussions.  It is ruled counter productive to two dimensional thought.  Proponents include political idealogues, religious leaders, corporate vampire squids, and the creators of Popeye cartoons.  Opponents are in the majority so they don't matter.

Black is being redefined as the presence of light as it absorbs all we see.  In related news, white is being characterized as the absence of light due to it's reflective qualities.  Green does not comment.

Spin offs of the Occupy movement receive infusions of cash from unknown sources and soften  their message.  Money says "trust me, have I ever done you wrong?"  The simultaneous sounds of cockroaches scurrying for cover are audible.  They have nice suits.

The rich demand the right to vote legally everywhere they own property.  The constitution is cited.

Tar sands oil [bitumen] is currently being sent to Cherry Point.  Put that in your pipe line and smoke it.  Chemicals used to make it flow do not comment.  The pipe does though.

Respect for nature is called over rated.  We are in control now and nature had best come around and accept it.  Don't make us brandish the skins of newly extinct species to make our point.  Opponents are called de-evolved and inconsequential to reality.  Reality complains vociferously but is ignored.

In weather news, wet today, wet tonight, wet tomorrow then breaking to extreme dampness by tomorrow night.  Stay tuned for more of the same and don't even think of invoking Seasonal affective disorder.

All laws passed since 2001 have been ruled null and void as the supreme court over stepped it's authority when it appointed our commander in chief thwarting the will of the people and the constitution of the US.  This effectively rolls back  Citizens United,  the confirmations of both Roberts and Alito,  the Iraq war, and the deficit.  Wow, what a relief.  States say they are happy to just still have some rights.

Former President Gore is pleased with the progress we have made at fixing the envirnment during the last ten years.  The middle class is euphoric that it's swelling ranks have been enabled by the enforcement of the Sherman Act, the reinstatement of Glass Steagal, and the repeal of the Commodities Futures Act shortly after he took office.  The deficit is at its lowest level since Reagan was in office.  CO2 levels have begun to decrease slightly now after levelling off around 2005.  Nature says more work is needed even as more coal plants in America are shut down.  Cars getting 100 miles a gallon has helped.  A cooling of the hot air in Washington DC has helped a lot.

Billionaires have moved to an island in the Carribean to be closer to their money.  They do bemoan however having to make their own beds and cook their own food.  Single parents are more acclimated to this level of multitasking.  Cheese has not been provided as complainers ask to come home.  A huge majority says give the money back first and then we'll see.  The greedy elite counter with "why don't some of you come here and you can swim with Rays when  you're not serving us for minimum wage.  Our polls say we have already been serviced enough.  Rays want to comment but can't.  Money is silent as it has no rights.  Billionaires are fuming about their minimized sovereignty over all that crawls, walks, spends, swims, or flies on our little blue green planet.

The sun is shining as it has for eons while the  ancient sun is shouting warnings about an uncertain future as more of it is burnt.  One thing is certain.  Change is inevitable.  Directing it may or may not be a sysiphean task beyond the capabilities of humanity so we shouldn't try.  It's not easy to roll a rock up hill.  Fantasy can do it.  If fantasy won't we'll make a law.  Listen up  nature.

Congress repeals laws of gravity.  Gravity files suit in physics court.  Sisyphis takes a week off.  Elevator operators are out of work.  NASA too.

Bill Gates and Warren Buffet join the occupy movement.  Carlos Slim and the Royal Family of Saudi Arabia scoff at the move.  Denmark and Norway wonder what took so long.

Disclaimer: This report is an objective dissemination of recent and future events.  If facts conflict with your cherished opinions please click now so stress levels don't rise from having to think:  Presented as a public service message from XR News.

A bill is introduced to reinstate the laws of gravity.  Arguments are ruled without weight or standing

Willie Nelson says to roll him up and smoke him when he's gone.  A line is forming.  Fans hope there's no carbon tax in place by then.

The equinox is charged with being unbalanced.  A Fall is uncertain as the matter is unresolved.

With literally billions of dollars in play the Department of Justice claims that banksters known to be guilty of numerous and wide ranging crimes can't be prosecuted because they are too big to jail.  Extortion of the U.S. and many other countries will be overlooked.  Obama will not be asked to bow down to them because Eric Holder already has.  I would consider eating this report for a one tenth of one percent of that take as a tithe.  Boy would I!  With all that dirty money I could be one heck of a dirty white boy.  On second thought, I want my dirt clean and full of organisms.

In history, one hundred years have passed since our American money was privatized.  The goal of the Federal Reserve Act was the equitable dissemination of access to money throughout society.    Deregulation then allowed the bubble of the Roaring twenties.  It could have been called 'Banksters Gone Wild.'  Our first great depression followed with twenty five percent unemployment.  A few profited.  In 2008 after massive deregulations expanded blue sky investing world wide, another great crash resulted.  The answer?  Take the money from people trying to feed, clothe, and heal their children.  Too big to jail extortionists scramble to protect their ill-gotten gains.  The umbrella has no fabric.  Goldman Sachs and City Bank for the second time, still in business amoung others.  If you're gonna rob a bank it helps to own it.  Now that's free market we can believe in.

The characterization of money as the life blood of a society, feeding all parts of the body as needed has been retired.  The new characterization is shit.  When stacked in huge piles, it smells bad.  Bigger piles smell worse.  Spread out accross the field, everything grows and may reach maturity.  Abundance spreads out with past growth feeding future in cycles of elegant efficency enabled further by a little fertilizer and local cooperation.  Scarab beetles protest demanding more piles and giving participants cake, and tea.  Beetles threaten to roll their balls to the Caymans if their demands are not met.  Ayn Rand welcomes them as she cashes her government check.  

Jesus taught to be more like the child with wonder, magic, open eyes and minds.  Rich christians agree as now their camels can fit easily through the eye of a needle.  God doesn't comment overtly.

Congress rejects the characterization of money as shit because Washington is awash in it.  The fear is, approval polls may sink to lower than single digits.  The election process with kabuki theater is mentioned.  The media, with mountains of manure in play, is silent.  Now that's news.

China is out sourcing clothing production,  Finally, they join the civilized world.

Breaking news.  White smoke has come out of the Vatican at precisely 4:20 PM.  Questions have been raised as to what is being announced.    

Paul Ryans budget is broadcast on the cartoon channel, and the horror network.  Viewers are mixed.

Grover Norquist is pleased but needs a bath.  You would too if you'd been down a toilet.

All news items in this report are true.  The opinions even more so.  Exfoliating minds are bound to know. We'll set them free as only we can do.  Stay tuned.                                                                                    XR News Service.

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