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Wait – What just happened? A roundup of the week in news, June 16, 2013

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you had a Pussy Riot in an Orthodox Cathedral in Russia, wonder no more! This week Russian parliament passed a law making “offending religious feelings” a crime punishable by a year in prison and up to three years if you desecrate a religious building or artifact. Members of the Russian parliament that passed the law wanted people to know that they weren’t being frivolous, this law only applies to people that act out in public, or go out of their way to offend religious sensibilities. Well, as long as they’re being reasonable about it...

Duck Mania is headed for the shores of the United States!  Florentijn Hofman, a Dutch artist has created a 54 foot, inflatable, yellow, rubber duckie. It gets taken from port to port and inflated for two week spans to bring “joy to the people” according to Hofman. It left Hong Kong on Thursday and began making its way across the ocean to the welcoming shores of America. This giant bath time fun toy has already visited the harbors of Osaka, Sao Paolo, Sydney, Amsterdam, and most recently, Hong Kong, where the big yellow guy received his most loving welcome to date.

You may have read our recent article about the rise in hate crimes this year, particularly in New York, but what you may not have heard about, are the superheroes patrolling the streets of Greenwich Village. Spyder, Spectre, Zero, and the Dark Guardian all don tactical gear and bullet proof vests, and take over where Batman and Robin left off. If there’s one thing gays love more than walking the streets of Greenwich Village, it’s walking the streets of Greenwich Village and encountering superheros of the night!  Defenders of an alternative lifestyle!  Protecting gayness wherever gaiety has been targeted!

In other gay news, how shocked were YOU to learn that Caterpillar, the bulldozer company, yanked it’s support of the Boy Scouts because of their refusal to lift a ban on gay leaders.  Well color me bright yellow, and then color me so pleased!

Wal-Mart had its annual shareholders’ meeting in Fayetteville, AR this week. The company has been under pressure from employee strikes and consumer walkouts over their refusal to pay employees a fair and livable wage, to enact anti-discrimination policies for LGBT employees, and redefine their overseas production practices in 3rd world countries. Wal-Mart responded with an enormous party for its wealthiest and best Among the guest speakers were Hugh Jackman, Jennifer Hudson, Kelly Clarkson and Tom Cruise.  Wal-Mart insists it doesn’t ‘pay’ for celebrity appearances or endorsements, they merely cover travel and hotel costs, food costs, and let them promote whatever project they are working on. Tom Cruise gave a rousing speech about how Wal-Mart is a role model company, and how it improves the lives of women. The 1.5 million women that filed a class action sexual discrimination case against the company might beg to differ.

Okay folks, it’s time you realized that we no longer live in a world where privacy exists.  You can adjust, or you can get busted.

Like this jackass did.

A woman on a recent train trip snapped a picture of an offensive guy bragging about cheating on his wife and tweeted it out across the land. “If this is your husband, I have just endured a 2 hour train ride listening to him and his buddies talk about their many affairs and how stupid their wives are.” The woman that snapped and tweeted the pic has remained anonymous, but hopefully after 183,000 views, this cheater will get his up and comin's. The phrase, “we are not alone” has taken on a brand new meaning.

In Ireland they have a beautiful replica of the blue lagoon, minus the young Brooke Shields of course. The only difference is the blue lagoon in Ireland is toxic. With PH levels hovering somewhere around the bleach level, the water has claimed lives and caused health issues for residents and tourists alike for generations. Despite warning signs posted all around the lagoon, people still can’t resist those sparkling blue toxic waters. The locals wanted to have it drained, but the city refused and came up with a new solution. They dyed it black.  Hopefully now people will think twice before jumping into a vat of black bleach!

Juan Gonzalez revealed on Democracy Now this week that there are major problems with the 911 dispatch system in New York.  People have been reporting delays or no shows to emergency 911 calls, and the city is reporting back saying it’s human error. Employees within the NYPD are so upset over the recent instance that left a 4 year old girl dead when a 911 call about her accident went unanswered that they are starting to leak information. It turns out the system is antiquated and inconsistent and needs to be replaced. If you’re in NYC and you have an emergency, call 911 several times, or see the story above about super heroes...

When traveling through airport security you expect to take your shoes off, lose your carry on mascara or lip gloss, but when Chewbacca tried to make it from Comic Con to his home in Texas, the TSA tried to confiscate his light saber walking cane!  Instead of pitching a fit or yelling, “Do you know who I am?”, he calmly pulled out his phone and opened his Twitter app.  Once the TSA realized the lightsaber was just a walking cane and not a bomb, they let Chewy on his way WITH cane in tow.

Edward Snowden is a name we’ve all come to know as the man that leaked the information that the government says we already knew about, but that somehow weakened our national security.  Something they admit that we DIDN’T know, was that 70% of all U.S. Intelligence is outsourced. Other than battling in wars and each other, what is it that our government actually does do?  And this can’t possibly be good news for anyone that’s ever had an ex...

After years of men telling us the reason they cheat is because it's not in their DNA to be monogamous and women all over the world telling them to get over it, they've come up with a new pitch!!! According to a new study, it seems it is now in the WOMAN'S best interest to copulate with several different men, keeping it a secret if she must, to ensure her best genetic interest.

If you haven’t gone to the Time For A Raise website yet to sign the petition to get the minimum wage rate raised to $10.50, please do!  Our current substandard minimum wage is enslaving 30 million people in poverty.  Please take thirty seconds to sign this petition to make sure millions of Americans can feed their families and keep roofs over their heads.

Originally posted to Secular Party of America on Sun Jun 16, 2013 at 08:32 AM PDT.

Also republished by Street Prophets .

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