Instead of recycling, we should use trash to build a majestic mountain. I'm sick of America not having the tallest mountain in the world.

It bothers me that I hate pharmaceutical companies but I also need their products because herbs and crap don't work.

I pay my taxes, and vote which entitles me to a lifetime's supply of vaguely idiotic self-righteousness.

Every time I put on a new outfit, I take a picture of myself and email it to Adobe Acrobat so they can get my "updates."

If your partner ever explains that some awkward situation "was a test", just remember you can always buy new stuff and run as far as you can.

Why was I summoned forth into existence in this universe if they weren't going to give me enough nap time?

If I had a time machine, I'd use it to beat the fuck out of H.G. Wells


Most people stay in long-term relationships just waiting for an apology?

30%35 votes
28%33 votes
40%46 votes

| 114 votes | Vote | Results

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