Angel: Stop, don't kill your son. God was just testing your loyalty.
Abraham: What the fuck is wrong with that guy?
God dude, if you don't want people eating apples, put the fucking tree on top of a mountain. Maybe have a few Minotaurs guarding the shit.
Why does everything have to be defined as theism, atheism or agnosticism. Can't I just smoke bud and believe in the Universe?
I often criticize religious people but they rarely retaliate. Can't help but respect that. Criticizing an atheist is like declaring war.
A good night's sleep is crucial to good health. It is also crucial to making you much more tolerable to your loved ones.
If you're in a crowded area, walk around with your index finger on your ear and say shit like "I have a visual on the assassin, sir."
Simple happiness tip: always ignore the recommended serving size, dosage, or whatever.
Get high on life! By using drugs!