Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims: Time-Travel Adventures with Exceptional Americans will hit bookshelves at the end of next month.
Limbaugh says he was motivated to write the book by people who kept pressing the college dropout to correct our nation's educational deficits, including his wife, who said
"You know, you're always talking about how history is being mistaught. You're right. You're always talking about what kids are learning these days, and they're not learning about the greatness of America. They're not learning about the founding days. They're not learning the right things about the people, the great people, the exceptional people who founded this country. Why don't you write a book for kids? A series of books for kids, maybe -- see how the first one goes -- that sets the record straight on American history."
If the book is a success, Limbaugh will transform a nation of children who are being brainwashed from the top down to believe that they will never amount to anything:
Limbaugh fully expects this to be the beginning of a long series of best sellers, as millions of people have been waiting their whole lives to read about an arrogant asshole who talks to his horse and time travels:
"President Obama recently said exceptional Americans are few and far between. Do you remember that? There was some discussion, as there often is, 'No, Rush. That's not what he really meant.' Well, maybe not, but he said it. And the fact is way too many people believe it. Way too many people believe that prosperity, success, or whatever is an exception now, that it really is impossible -- and it's not, folks.
And times are tough for a lot of people today, but they're not tougher that they were for the people that founded this country. It's an amazing, amazing story. It's a miraculous story, the blessings of God and any number of other things that led to the founding of this country. But exceptional Americans are not few and far between. It's quite the opposite."
"It's fun, and when you establish the premise that your lead character can go anywhere in history with his talking horse... I mean, I don't want to spoil it. (laughing) I'm so excited. Kathryn is gonna kill me, here, but... (sigh) Well, this may not be the only one. Let's speak hypothetically. Let's say, "If there's another one..." What I really want to do is I want to have Rush Revere... Remember, now, the educational part. What we do here is we combine information, education, and entertainment, which makes the learning of history fun, which is the key for this audience."
Limbaugh took pains to explain that the book has no political agenda, but he could not resist inserting a cheap shot at poor people into his book announcement:
"This a really, really exciting day for me -- and I promise you, I'm not gonna overdo this. I'm not gonna get to the point of irritating you like I know other people do. But this is the big day. I announced that I have written another book. I made the announcement at the beginning of the program today. For example, if you're a welfare recipient just getting up, you'da missed it, and I want everybody to know this."
So fear not, parents, the solution to America's ills is at hand.
After all, who better to straighten out our children than a racist, serial divorcing, drug offending sexist who doesn't have any?
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