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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

"This was no boating accident…"

Well, actually it was, and thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster everyone involved---including my congresswoman---is either unhurt or on the mend:  

Rep. Chellie Pingree (D) of Maine's 1st District
Pingree: safe and dry.
A water taxi carrying U.S. Rep. Chellie Pingree collided with a 20-foot recreational boat Saturday night in Portland Harbor. Pingree escaped injury, but three others were hurt, including her husband, Portland financier S. Donald Sussman.

Officials said they received a call from the water taxi around 10:14 p.m. reporting the collision near Fort Gorges. Crews aboard two of Portland’s fireboats responded and took about 20 minutes to locate the damaged boats, said Deputy Fire Chief Robert Wassick. They found all of the passengers were conscious, but two of the seven people on the water taxi and one of the two people on the pleasure boat were injured.

One thing you learn real fast when you live on the coast is that the ocean doesn't give a shit about anyone, whether they're a few miles out or a few hundred yards from shore. It's why I never venture out of the house without a snorkel and water wings, even if I'm just picking up a pizza across the street. So feel free to breathe a sigh of relief that Maine's progressive champion in Congress is A-OK. But next time, Congresswoman, you really should use a jetpack.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Note: After consultation with our panel of experts, my committee recommends passing a strict voter butt-photo ID law.  Please sign the petition and then have a seat on the copier.

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Roots N Blues N BBQ Festival logo (Missouri)
10 days!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Yom Kippur: 4
Days 'til the Roots N Blues N BBQ Festival in Columbia, Missouri: 10
Number of surgeries in the U.S. aided by robots in 2012: 367,000
(Source: Time)
Growth in income since 1993 among the top 1 percent of earners: 58%
Growth in income since 1993 among the bottom 99 percent of earners: 6%
(Source: USA Today)
Average hourly wage of an employee in Portland, Maine in July of 2012 and July of 2013, respectively (under our tea party governor's leadership): $23.10 / $22.21
Number of states that have banned sales of e-cigarettes to minors: 20
(Source: AP)

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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:

Some are implying that the destruction of Damascus will occur at the end of a world war (i.e.: as part of Armageddon, or as its prelude). I don't see it that way. The War of Gog and Magog occurs well before the world war that ends in Armageddon. I think that the destruction of Damascus occurs either as the spark for the War of Gog and Magog, or during that war. Also, some are concluding that the destruction of Damascus "in a single hour" can only be the result of a major military strike. But, what about an asteroid event, such as that which leveled hundreds of square miles of forest near Tunguska, Siberia, more than 100 years ago? That would be "a God thing" that no one could deny (well, except for those that choose to hate God, regardless of the facts).
---Commenter T. Kovakh at World Net Daily
All together now: 1…2…3… Classy!

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Tonight on Animal Planet…

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Stupid cat, that's not
Syria. It's Boise.
CHEERS to making the case.  President Obama has a pretty daunting, if not impossible, task tonight.  In an address from the Oval Office, he'll lay out the reasons why we should give our military the green light to give Syrian president Bashar al-Assad a little knee to the groin for using chemical weapons on civilians.  (Since it deals with bombs and missiles and shock-and-awe, even Fox News will carry it live.)  I don't know how persuadable We The People Who Can't Find Syria On A Map are, but Obama will give it the old college try, aided by a potential deal floated by John Kerry (was it a slip of the tongue that stuck, or is he rope-a-doping Assad?) to give Syria time to get rid of all the WMDs it now admits it has.  Here's tonight's drinking game: drink until it all makes sense to you.  We'll meet for a post-address roundtable discussion while kneeling around the terlet.

Graphic in kids handwriting: Play, Learn and Grow Together
To the GOP, these is cuss words.
CHEERS to slappin' on a fresh diaper and getting down to business.  Two more signs that summer vacation season has ended and folks are heading back to work: Congress is back in session and daycares are filling up again.  There will be lots of crying and stamping of feet and screams of "Mine Mine Mine!" as a roomful of whiny brats hurl childish insults and feast on paste and magic marker fumes.  And if I was a bettin' man I'd predict the toddlers at daycare will probably act the same way...though probably with a little less gusto.

CHEERS to picking a big cheese for the Big Apple.  After tonight, we'll be mercifully free of any Anthony Weiner sightings for awhile, after he gets crushed by [insert candidate here] in the New York City mayoral primary.  All signs (read: polls) suggest that an outright win for Bill de Blasio is a strong possibility.  But if I was eligible to vote, I think I'd cast a rare ballot for a Republican---John Catsimatidis.  He's the only one visionary enough to suggest "putting cops on tricycles to improve their mobility.".  And for the fire department: shiny new Radio Flyer wagons!

Arnold palmer with Dwight Eisenhower
Ike and Arnie.
CHEERS to the leader of Arnie's Army. Happy 84th birthday, Arnold Palmer, born in Latrobe, Pennsylvania in 1929. He won 4 Masters championships, a U.S. Open, and 2 British Opens. But that don't mean squat compared to his greatest achievement: being a shining example of the gentleman competitor. Oh, and this is still funny:
1966 [F]or the first time in his life, Palmer’s plane is flown without him or his knowledge---pilot Darrell Brown flies it to Gettysburg to pick up President Dwight Eisenhower for a surprise visit. "I was oblivious to it all," Palmer says, "until I answered the door and found General Eisenhower standing there with an overnight bag. ‘Say, you wouldn’t have room to put up an old man for the night, would you?’ One of the nicest weekends of my life followed."
Extra points for being one of a vanishing breed known as a "Country Club Republican." In today's GOP, that's just a notch below "bleeding-heart liberal."

Recession employment graph as of August, 2013
On track to dig ourselves
out of our hole by 2014.
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JEERS to still too many idle hands.  The latest employment report came out Friday, and a weak 169,000 jobs were created.  Conclusions: 1) Half a decade after the recession hit, the almighty "job creators" still suck at their job of job creating, 2) Had President Obama's American Jobs Act been passed by Congress, things would be a helluva lot better (think 6.3 percent unemployment or lower versus the current 7.3 percent), and 3) Republicans want you to be unemployed so they can accuse you of being a moocher and use it as an excuse to slash federal funding for unemployment benefits and related social programs for the jobless, the homeless and the penniless.  Oh, and also #4: vote Democrat.

JEERS to a very bad bench warmer.  Twenty-two years ago today, the Senate Judiciary Committee opened hearings on the nomination of Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court.  He was, of course, the first porn addict to be elevated to the nation's highest bench.  That's what I love about this country---our devotion to diversity.

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Five years ago in C&J: September 10, 2008

CHEERS to cool heads.  Obama campaign manager David Plouffe says, "Chill":

Electoral map of the 2008 election
Spoiler Alert: Obama wins.
"There’s a lot of hyperventilating about national polls," Plouffe said, which wasn't a surprise since both a CBS News poll and the Gallup daily tracking poll showed McCain taking the lead nationally in the presidential race.  "When you look at battleground states, we feel very good about where we are."
He's so sexy when he's confident.

JEERS to groundhog day.  President Bush emerged from his hole yesterday, saw his shadow, and gave us all 6 more months of victory in Iraq.  Thankfully, we only have four more months of him.

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And just one more…

Old fashioned telephone
The new iPhone 5S comes
with an extra-long cord.
CHEERS to talkin' and textin' and takin' pitchurs…oh my!  At 1 O'clock ET, in a ritual now more widely anticipated than the unveiling of the latest Ben & Jerry's flavor, Apple will introduce the new iPhone.  Here's what we can expect in terms of new bell-and-whistleage:  
> Apple's next flagship phone will be called the iPhone 5S
> The iPhone 5S will be available in more colours
> Apple will upgrade the camera in the iPhone 5S
> The iPhone 5S will have almost exactly the same design as the iPhone 5
> And maybe even a fingerprint reader
Best of all, the new iPhone 5S will give geeks something to play with while they stand in line waiting for the iPhone 6.

Have a nice Syria…er, dammit…Tuesday, Tuesday!  Floor's open---what are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

Like the rest of us, Tom Brady must be patient with Bill in Portland Maine
---The Boston Globe

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Poll

Woo hoo! It's finally mayoral primary day in New York City! Which Democratic candidate do you support most?

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| 2858 votes | Vote | Results

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