OK

Not sure what's worse: Miss America being harassed by Internet racists or the fact that Miss America competitions still exist.

The world's oldest man died at 112. Is it me, or are the world's oldest people getting younger? Back in my day, they were 120ish.

I dropped a peach in the produce section of Whole Foods and 12 vegans swooped in out of nowhere to organize a memorial service.

walks into kitchen wearing a yellow hazard suit and goggles.
MOM I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME HEISENBERG.

Breaking Bad Recap:

- Blue meth.
- Heisenberg enjoys fedoras.
- They're minerals, not rocks.
- THEY'RE FUCKING MINERALS MARIE.

You gently, softly, kiss her inner thighs. You then bring your lips to her ear and whisper “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my…”

Replace your hands with swords so nimrods don't fuck with you.

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Poll

Photons don’t experience time. They don’t actually move. Light is our reality. It’s not moving but we see it moving. None of this is real.

11%6 votes
35%19 votes
52%28 votes

| 53 votes | Vote | Results

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