My shoes are wet from walking in the grass.
His paws are soaked,
as is the shaggy hair on his belly, chest and chin.

There is an old towel near the door.
He sits on the rug and waits.
He happily cooperates, lifting his paws and chin.
He enjoys the brisk rubdown with skritches.

When we are finished,
he goes to his bed for a nap.
He naps a lot,
He is very good at it.

I rest on the couch.
Sometimes he joins me.
He's a heat machine.
His long white hair sheds on my clothes.
I rarely wear a fresh tuxedo
when lounging on the couch,
so a bit of dog hair is not a big deal.

Play fetch, walks, treats, naps,
a bath once a month or two.
A little white dog's life
would be perfect, if not for
the mail carrier and car doors
and joggers who must be warned off!

Can't they smell the piss?
Our territory is clearly marked with urine.
Any fool, or even a cat, could smell it.
Go away! I have fierce teeth! See?

Beware of the dog.
Beware of his breath.
Especially his breath.
You may be sniffed or even licked.
You have heard of "Alpha dogs".
This is the Omega dog.

Your butt will be sniffed.
Lucky Angus MacPup is keeping a file on you.
He knows where you've been.
He knows what you've been eating.
He knows you still have some of it in your coat pocket.

Are you going to finish that?
OK then. Naptime!

Originally posted to ruleoflaw on Sat Sep 28, 2013 at 05:42 PM PDT.

Also republished by Rebel Songwriters, Badger State Progressive, J Town, and PWB Peeps.

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