Instead of ending the government shutdown, we should just scrap the whole thing, put on powdered wigs and call a constitutional convention.

Michele Bachmann has entered into a staring contest with the Obamacare Web site.

So far, no one has blinked.

When I see Braves fans all doing the Tomahawk chop in unison, I always think of the mindless cartoon crowds on South Park.

Winter will be here soon. Do your part to fight the patriarchy by building gender-neutral Persons of Snow.

Maintaining a laser-focus on the task at hand helps keep you from realizing that in the grand scheme of the universe it's all pointless.

Killing someone is a satisfying but impractical way to let them know you're upset.

Money, not love. Love, not gasoline. Gloves, not jail.


There's a government shutdown in my pants and everyone's invited to look upon it with great disdain and frustration.

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