From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Get Your Late Night Snark Outta My Bedroom:
"In Virginia, [Republican] candidate for governor Ken Cuccinelli went down, which is ironic because he was trying to make oral sex illegal. I'm not making that up. He wanted to make abortion impossible, ban gay marriage, and reinstate the sodomy laws against oral and anal sex. Why? Because it's a Republicans' job to get government out of our lives.More at Dan Kurtzman's place.
"Nothing you say between parentheses counts. Watch: (Should I mention that Richard Cohen sympathized with George Zimmerman after Trayvon Martin's death? Should I mention that Richard Cohen once suggested that it's okay to keep black customers out of your store? Should I mention that if Richard Cohen isn’t a racist, I don’t know what he is---maybe just a really bad writer?) I don’t want anyone attacking me for saying those things. That's just the conventional reaction to Richard Cohen: [Gag!]"Goodbye, Senator Feinstein.
Hellooooooo Senator Batkid!
---Stephen Colbert (Watch here)
"One small problem: it was all bullshit. [Security contractor Dylan Davies] made the whole thing up. … If you cannot trust an international mercenary existing in the netherworld twixt assassin and bounty hunter, whose very livelihood is predicated on the flexible morality needed to survive in the chaos of lawlessness in failed nations, who can you trust?"
---Jon Stewart, on the botched 60 Minutes Benghazi segment
"Apparently there is a huge crack cocaine problem in Toronto. Luckily, it’s just confined to the mayor’s office."
"Last week CNN had its lowest ratings in more than a year with just 385,000 viewers. You can tell they're worried about money by Wolf Blitzer's new show: The Situation Roommate."
"According to a recent study, Southern accents were voted the sexiest of all American accents. Boston accents came in 87th right after a deer being gutted."
C'mon down and splash. I have some leftover Halloween stewed prunes that are calling your name. Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, November 15, 2013
Note: For those of you cooking Thanksgiving turkeys weighing over 200 pounds, tomorrow's the day to pop 'em in the oven. And also the day to realize you're going to need a bigger oven.
Days 'til Star Wars Episode VII (Dec. 18, 2015): 753
Days 'til the Downtown Boise Tree Lighting in Idaho: 14
Number of gallons of water the purifying machine aboard the aircraft carrier U.S.S. George Washington can process per day: 100,000
Number of U.S. Strike Group helicopters being used to help deliver supplies to remote areas in the Philippines: 21
(Source: NBC News)
Number of Words in the English Language: 1,025,109
(Source: Global Language Monitor)
Percent of 18-34 year-olds who believe in space aliens: 27%
Percent of those over 50 who believe in space aliens: 14%
(Source: University of Texas at Austin poll)
Puppy Pic of the Day: What I look like coming home from the bar on Saturday
CHEERS to the nation's new stethoscope wielder. What happened to President Obama's first Surgeon General seems pretty typical of how these appointments play out---nominated, confirmed, drops out of sight, then we hear that she'd resigned months ago and is being replaced. The new doc is Vivek Hallegere Murthy of Harvard Medical School and Brigham & Women's Hospital. Naturally, the folks in the righty blogosphere are greeting the news with their usual class:
driving wingers nuts.
Why is it that he can never appoint someone who looks or sounds American? … “Viveck Hallegre Murthy” Is that a name or a disease? … Dr. Mengele will see you now … Obama is going to pin 3 stars on him like he worthy of a rank people spend more than 35 years trying to achieve ... the guy is Hindu which also means his approach to life is we all have more than one via reincarnation hocus pocus. So what's our life mean to him in an emergency of life or death? We just move on to the next snail or animal or bug that re-enters this world as another creature. How's that sit?I'm glad the ACA expands coverage of mental health. Some people in this country are in desperate need of some sessions on the couch and lots of happy pills...stat.
afterlife looks like.
CHEERS to home where the buffalo roam. Happy Birthday, Oklahoma! The "Hey, that looks like a skillet!" State officially nabbed the 46th star on the flag 106 years ago tomorrow. Incidentally, the state rock is "rose barite." I believe you'll find it in the greatest abundance between Senator Tom Coburn's ears.
[Attention, please: This is a C&J Sarah Palin-Free Space. There is absolutely nothing about Sarah Palin inside these brackets. Come here any time you need to take a Sarah Palin-Free moment. But try to block out the fact that I've written Sarah Palin
three four times already or you might get all agitated again. Thank you. Enjoy your moment. ---Mgt.]
JEERS to the hunchback of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Forty years ago---forty!!!---this Sunday, in 1973, Richard Nixon uttered his immortal words:
a crook by Deputy Elvis.
"People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got."Dick was innocent? Then what was that Ford pardon all about? I'm all retro-confused.
In an hour-long televised question-and-answer session with 400 Associated Press managing editors, Mr. Nixon was tense and sometimes misspoke. But he maintained his innocence in the Watergate case and promised to supply more details on his personal finances and more evidence from tapes and presidential documents.
On Bill Moyers & Company, Jill Stein and Margaret Flowers of the Green Shadow Cabinet talk about how they and other scientists fight "against political corruption and a host of grievances that that have led many people to cynicism and despair." And here's your Sunday morning lineup. As pissed as I am at CBS News at the moment, Face the Nation actually looks interesting:
of few reasons to tune
in Sunday morning.
Meet the Press: Speaker Nancy Pelosi; Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH).Happy viewing!
This Week: Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) on her efforts to crack down on sexual assault in the military; Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) is invited on to hawk his new book; disgusting head of Blackwater Mercenaries, Inc. Eric Prinz; JFK nephew Patrick Kennedy and director Ken Burns on JFK’s legacy; roundtable with Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL), Gwen Ifill, David Plouffe, Matt Dowd, Howard Dean and Bret Stephens.
Face the Nation: JFK assassination edition from the former Texas School Book despository with Luci Baines Johnson; Hugh Aynesworth of the Dallas Morning News and Mike Cochran of the Associated Press; Dr. Ronald Jones, who treated JFK and Oswald; historians Thurston Clarke, Larry Sabato and Douglas Brinkley.
CNN's State of the Union: Israel President Benjamin Netanyahu on how peace with Iran would totally jeopardize the peace process so NO DEAL!!! Plus Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY) and Democratic Congressman James Clyburn (D-MD), Van Jones, Ross Douthat and Amy Walter.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Liz Cheney; JFK niece Kathleen Kennedy Townsend and nephew Patrick Kennedy on their uncle's legacy; roundtable with Britt Hume, Bob Woodward and George Will.
Five years ago in C&J: November 15, 2008
CHEERS to shittin'freude. Some guy on a French high-speed train went to the bathroom and promptly dropped his cellphone into the toilet. While trying to retrieve it, his arm got stuck. Rescue officials couldn’t dislodge it, so the guy ended up leaving the train with the toilet still attached to him. That, of course, would never happen in America. Not because we don’t have our share of morons, but because---[sigh]---we ain't got no high-speed trains.
And just one more…
CHEERS to Empowered Howard: Birthday Boy. There's just no other way to say it: Howard Dean rocks. From signing the first civil unions bill in America that paved the way for the marriage-equality movement, to being ahead of his time on health care reform and bunch of other issues, he's been an important reality-based voice at critical times over the last dozen or so years. In fact, after the spectacular '08 election results, Obama's campaign manager David Plouffe sent out an email which said, in part:
Our friends at the Democratic National Committee laid it all on the line to bring change this year. The DNC's 50-state field strategy was crucial to our campaign's success, as well as victories for Democrats up and down the ballot. Their organizing infrastructure allowed us to compete---and win---in states that seemed insurmountable just four years ago.Sunday is Howard's birthday---he turns frrhrrfrrhrr years old. A lot of Kossacks, myself included, became bloggers because of his ideas and the uncompromising way he presented them, like his March 15, 2003 speech when he energized the crowd at the California State Convention in Sacramento:
"WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS...what in the world so many Democrats are doing supporting the President's unilateral intervention in Iraq!Today he's still preachin' the progressive word. So when you're pouring your first drinky Sunday, whether it's coffee or something stronger, hoist it and say happy birthday to the old man...and many blessings on his camels.
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS…why the Democrats in Congress aren't standing up for us, joining every other industrialized country on the face of the Earth in providing health insurance for every man, woman and child in America!
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS…why so many folks in Congress are voting for the President's Education Bill---The "No School Board Left Standing Bill"---the largest unfunded mandate in the history of our educational system!
As Paul Wellstone said---as Sheila Kuehl said when she endorsed me---I am Howard Dean, and I'm here to represent the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party! ...
The only way that we're going to beat George Bush is to say what we mean, to stand up for who we are, [and] to lift up a Democratic agenda against the Republican agenda. Because if you do that, the Democratic agenda wins every time.
Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?