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A few nights back, sharing a couple of home-brews, with my friend Mr. High Uintas got me thinking and remembering…

Way back when ( about 45 years ago ), a couple of friends and I decided to make some beer. We had a crude recipe, malt, sugar, raisins, bread yeast, and water. We mixed it all together, put it in two ten gallon plastic jugs. The opening of the jugs was too big for a regular balloon, so I appropriated (stole) a couple condoms from my dad, and we used them.
We patiently ( yea right ) waited a few weeks, then not knowing anything  about letting it clear, and age, we poured it into a bunch of wine jugs we had squirreled away… Party Time !!!
This stuff was potent, it would knock you on your ass. But…BIG… but, it was ugly. Thick, murky, with raisins floating around in it, it smelled a lot like cat piss, and I have to say, it tasted as bad as it smelled.  We kept it around for awhile, in case we couldn’t get a hold of anything better… but in the end we dumped most of it.

This got me thinking of other semi-relevant thoughts…

At work we have a football pool. Twenty-five self-proclaimed football experts and one ( I don’t know anything about football ) German woman. Ten weeks into the season, guess who is sitting all by herself in first place… yep… you guessed it, the German woman. The rest of them can laugh about it, but I have to live with her. Do you think having to call her “Football Goddess”, before I can have dinner is rubbing it in… I kind of think so.

I spend a lot of time tracking down my phone. It may be a Smart Phone, but it isn’t smart enough to keep itself from getting lost. In fact, I’m starting to think that my phone and my car keys have something going on. I always seem to find them hiding out in the same place…

I seen an ad in a catalog for a book called “What Did We Do Before Toilet Paper”. Now I have to admit, I have a lot of stupid thoughts, but I don’t think I’ve ever had that one. But now it’s got me wondering…  

Who was it that decided that grass was cool, and dandelions were not, and what the hell were they thinking ? I can grow a yard full of pretty little yellow flowers, no muss, no fuss. No mowing, fertilizer, water, virtually no care at all.
Grass, on the other hand, needs constant care, and at least here in the desert a staggering amount of water. The reward for all of this, is an English looking garden for 2 weeks in the spring, and 2 weeks in the fall. The rest of the year, your lawn is either turning brown ( trying to die ) or covered with snow.
I think the people in Arizona have the right idea, throw down a few tons of red rock, drop in a few cool looking cacti, and go do something fun with your spare time.

I was thinking, when I retire, we could move to Newport Beach, Oregon. We could eat crab, lobster and Tillamook ice cream all day long. I would grow my beard long, dress up in an old time sea captains outfit. I would call myself Captain Jonas C. Ahab, and make a few extra coins telling bull-shit sea faring stories to the tourists. When I told my wife this brilliant idea… she laughed, and walking away, muttered something about Captain Guppy…

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