A big fat Happy War on Christmas to all my D-Kos peeps! Brian is busy in the kitchen making the feast while our friend John is contemplating cocktails. I thought I would take a minute to wish you a great end to 2013 and wish you all, us all, great progress in 2014. We may not have gotten everything we wanted this year, but at least we all stay somewhat on the rails while watching our competing political train run off theirs in spectacular fashion. So there's that.

I don't know how you all are celebrating today or even if you are, but we are celebrating by laughing as much as humanly possible. That's my kind of holiday. And since I can't actually reach through this screen and give you something sparkly to unwrap, I'm just going to share a couple of things that made us laugh. I hope you enjoy them as much as we did.

John Aravosis over at AmericaBlog posted this essay being read by David Sedaris and it had us in tears. If you have never heard Sedaris' riff on Dutch Sinkterklaas, grab yourself something merry to drink and spend fifteen minutes laughing your jingle bells off.

Then there was this piece found on Raw Story’s five biggest anti-LGBT A-holes of 2013 by David Ferguson. Coming in at number 3, and my personal favorite, sits Pat Robertson.

3. Pat Robertson: Somewhere, right now, a damp old wad of chewing gum, a hairpiece and a pair of dentures are snoring together in a tank of life-giving protoplasm. That hair-studded pink mass is the world’s oldest living televangelist, Pat Robertson, who will doubtless rise within 72 hours to say something breathtakingly hateful and ignorant in his quavering old man’s voice, like, gay men wear special rings that allow them to slash the hands of other people during a routine handshake and infect them with HIV.

Or that men are driven to have sex with other men by “demonic possession.” Or that seeing two men kiss makes him “want to throw up.” Or that early exposure to lesbians will make your children gay.

Now I'm being summoned by my family. Serious discussion has broken out over whether to have a cocktail containing whiskey, rum, or creme de menthe. I need to put a stop to it before we end up with a nauseating combination of all three.

Happy tidings and joy to all.


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