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Rep. Steve Stockman at the 2013 Liberty Political Action Conference (Gage Skidmore/cc)
Nearly every political outlet in existence had stories yesterday about the mysterious vanishing act being pulled by congressman and notable Texas crazy person Steve Stockman, who's missed two weeks of congressional votes and seems to have gone off the campaign trail entirely. And no, his campaign isn't talking.

He does, however, appear to be still alive. Either Stockman or a desperate member of his staff took to Twitter to announce the possibility that he might grace us all with his notably crazy presence again, but not today.

Where am I?  Find out Monday...
@StockmanSenate
Ha ha, isn't this fun? Don't you wish you had a job where you could not show up for weeks and still get paid?

This is a pretty odd response for a media firestorm involving your notable lack of showing up for work—one would think that the campaign would want to get him back out there pronto, and not encourage a media treasure hunt mentality. (Given that the prize for winning is Steve Stockman, I do wonder how many people are really putting their all into this.)

Presuming his staff is not preparing an elaborate Weekend at Bernie's sketch, we can assume the fine representative is still alive. Noting how pleased with himself the representative seems to be in those six words, we can assume—well, we can't really assume anything from that, now, can we. Stockman could have spent the last two weeks decorating a wall of his den with severed human noses and he'd still sound like that.

All right, readers, this leaves about three days for you to make your guesses as to where Rep. Steve Stockman was that was more important than campaigning or showing up for his day job. My own possible theories are rehab, alcoholic bender, Argentinian mistress, rehab, a quick trip to Iraq to look for a nice summer home, rehab, an extended session of burning campaign documents before the feds get a look at them, rehab, or rehab. I'm also willing to accept "no longer gives a damn." Place yer bets.

Originally posted to Hunter on Fri Jan 24, 2014 at 09:33 AM PST.

Also republished by Houston Area Kossacks, TexKos-Messing with Texas with Nothing but Love for Texans, Turning Texas: Election Digest, and Daily Kos.

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