U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) makes remarks to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Oxon Hill, Maryland, March 6, 2014. Thousands of conservative activists, Republicans and Tea Party Patriots gather to hear politicians, presidential hopefuls
Their hero
The annual gathering of the loonie right—also known as CPAC—got underway on Thursday morning in Washington. And while you've already missed the comedy stylings of Ted Cruz (abolish the IRS!) and Paul Ryan (GOP is the big tent party!), there's plenty of hilarity to come with a schedule of speakers that includes all the 2016 wannabes, the usual suspects in the rightwingnuttia, and for its finale, the mother of all wingers, Sarah Palin.

And sprinkled in between are the panels ... here's just a taste:

Healthcare After ObamaCare: A Practical Guide for Living When No One Has Insurance and America Runs Out of Doctors (Part 1)
Yes, there is a Part 2. Maybe featuring death panels? Or a straw repeal vote?
Conservative Journalism: From Benghazi to the IRS – a Layman’s Guide
to Covering “Phony Scandals” New Media Style
Remove the scare quotes and that will be a very helpful panel.
Why Conservatism is Right for Women: How Conservatives Should Talk About Life, Prosperity & National Security
It's so cute that they have to teach the faithful how to talk to women. Again. Oh, and by the way, of the 25 scheduled speakers at CPAC, only three are women.
What's the Deal with Global Warming?
Short answer: Doesn't exist, drill, baby, drill!
Honoring America’s Military Heroes ... with Colonel Allen West, USA (Ret.)
Presumably the heroes who weren't forced out of the military in disgrace.
More Guns, Less Crime: How Law Enforcement is Beginning to Embrace a Well-Armed Civilian Population
Moderated by—you guessed it—the Executive Director of the National Rifle Association. No word if Sheriff Joe will be there.

And of course:

Movie Screening: "Ronald Reagan: Rendezvous with Destiny"
... because no conservative gathering would be complete without an homage to St. Ronald of Reagan. (I'll skip the inappropriate joke about where he's rendezvousing these days ...)

Stay tuned. We'll cover this event as time and our ability to type while laughing hysterically permits.

Originally posted to Barbara Morrill on Thu Mar 06, 2014 at 08:06 AM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.


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