OK

Last night, Jon Stewart looked at how Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden seem to be appealing to blue collar voters.

Clearly, there's only one way to settle which Democratic candidate can appeal best to traditional blue-collar Reagan Democrat voters. Looks like we need to have ourselves a good ol' fashioned Poor-Off!

....

JOE BIDEN (6/23/2014): Don't hold it against me that I don't own a single stock or bond. Don't hold it... I have no savings account.
"Don't hold it against me, but my clothes are made of old curtains." (audience laughter) "Don't hold it against me, but I shit in a bucket outside." (audience laughter)
Video and full transcript below the fold.


So do you remember a time when Barack Obama was but a naive young presidential candidate, and he said working class voters in the Midwest were clinging to their guns and religion? Now, the American people punished him by electing him to two terms as President of the United States. Cuz that ain't fun!

Well, the Democratic frontrunners for 2016 aren't going to make that mistake.

HILLARY CLINTON (6/9/2014): I do not believe our great country should be playing minor league ball.

HILLARY CLINTON (1/31/2013): We are the force for progress, prosperity, and peace.

KRYSTAL BALL (6/22/2014): She was asked about the book that made her who she is today, and her answer was the Bible.

Oh my God, did she just threaten to smite her enemies? So Hillary's clinging to religion. Who will cling to guns?
JOE BIDEN (2/19/2013): If you want to protect yourself, get a double-barreled shotgun. ... If there's ever a problem, just walk out on the balcony here ... fire two blasts outside the house. ... Buy a shotgun. Buy a shotgun.
(audience laughter)

My favorite part of that is the dude sitting next to him like, "Holy shit!!"

"I want you to call shotgun while shotgunning a beer to your shotgun wedding. That's how much I love shotguns! So come on down to Crazy Joey's Shotgun Emporium!"

Clearly, there's only one way to settle which Democratic candidate can appeal best to traditional blue-collar Reagan Democrat voters. Looks like we need to have ourselves a good ol' fashioned Poor-Off!

(audience laughter at flies circling the two candidates in barrels)

I reckon it's time to find out which of these two is just more plain folk. Madame Secretary?

HILLARY CLINTON (6/9/2014): We came out of the White House not only dead broke, but in debt.
"I still get emotional just thinking about it!"

(audience laughter)

Well played, Mrs. Clinton. But if I know Joe Biden, you just brought a $100 dollar bill to a loose change fight.

JOE BIDEN (6/23/2014): He's Vice President of the United States of America. He makes, notwithstanding that he's listed as the poorest man in Congress....
How poor is Biden? Can't even afford a first-person pronoun. That's how poor he is.  (audience laughter) Your move, Madame Secretary.
HILLARY CLINTON (6/9/2014): We had no money when we got there, and we struggled to, you know, piece together the resources, mortgages for houses.
Yeah, when you're appealing to the middle class, you may want to use the singular ... (audience laughter) when referring to the most valuable asset most people will ever come in contact with. Biden? I see an opening.
JOE BIDEN (2/6/2014): For 36 years, I commuted from Washington, D.C., to Wilmington round-trip every day.

JOE BIDEN (6/23/2014): Don't hold it against me that I don't own a single stock or bond. Don't hold it... I have no savings account.

"Don't hold it against me, but my clothes are made of old curtains." (audience laughter) "Don't hold it against me, but I shit in a bucket outside." (audience laughter)

Top that, Secretary Clinton! Top it!

JOHN BERMAN (6/23/2014): The British newspaper The Guardian asked Mrs. Clinton whether she could be a credible champion for fighting income inequality, despite her wealth. Mrs. Clinton said this. Quote:
HILLARY CLINTON (6/21/2014): They don't see me as part of the problem because we pay ordinary income tax, unlike a lot of people who are truly well off, not to name names....
I think we know who she's talking about. Becky, from camp, always cheating at dodgeball and taxes. It's another bold attempt, but I'm afraid once again you're simply no match for Joe "I'm allergic to money" Biden. Although his "I don't own any stocks" story does have a bit of a hole in it.
DAVID SHUSTER (6/23/2014): Well according to disclosure forms, Biden does have some money in savings and investments.

NEWS REPORT (6/24/2014): His office says the Vice President was telling the truth because the investments belong to his wife.

(audience laughter)

"I'm homeless! I happen to stay in a mansion belonging to my lovely bride."  (audience laughter) Kind of like the King of England. (audience laughter)

What's with the Poverty Tourette's? Why do these two seem to think we need a hobo for President? Own what you have, it's fine! And more important, why do you think we'll believe them? I mean, both of you guys have had your faces on book covers—books written by them, about them.

That usually means you're doing pretty good.

NBC BAY AREA (5/16/2014): His memoir, Promises to Keep, earned less than $201 in royalties last year.
On second thought, I'm not sure how this guy affords a bucket to shit in. (audience laughter) We'll be right back.
Jon also looked at the real IRS scandal we should be outraged over.

Meanwhile, Stephen looked at ISIS using social media, and then had another Tip/Wag segment. He then noted New York's upcoming ban on taking selfies with tigers.


Jon talked with actress Jennifer Esposito, and Stephen talked with actress Edie Falco.

Originally posted to Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group on Wed Jun 25, 2014 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.