OK

It's my third favorite thing. (Things one and two are eating and sleeping.)  Meanwhile, I love my two children and am grateful beyond expression that I have the ongoing experience of being their mother.  AND...

I really didn't much like being pregnant.  Giving birth and the labor process that preceded it hurt like hell.  The three years that I spent being either pregnant or recovering from the process of giving birth were by far the most demanding on my physical body and required a lot of health care (and I had uncomplicated pregnancies, deliveries and recoveries.)

I've had a lot more sex in my lifetime than the two instances that resulted in live births.  I had a fair amount of sex when I and my children's father decided that we wanted our sex to result in live births, but by far the majority of the sex I've had has been for pleasure.

Reading the responses to the horrific Supreme Court decision on Hobby Lobby, I'm astounded by the number of people who temper their outrage with the Hobby Lobby decision with something like "Well, I take the medicine for other medical conditions, not to prevent pregnancy," as if there's something wrong with having sex for pleasure.

When I practiced birth control throughout my fertile years, it was precisely because I wanted the pleasure and I didn't want to become pregnant with an unwanted child. The discussion I've seen tends to imply I'm in a huge minority being a person who enjoys sex and who has sex because it feels good.  But you know what?  I don't really believe that I'm in a minority.  I believe, rather, that I live in a culture that refuses to acknowledge that sex is as natural as eating and sleeping, a culture that has decided that the pleasure one receives from good sex is not to be discussed while the pleasure experienced from eating a good meal or getting a nice nap in the middle of the day are things to talk and talk about.  And women who enjoy sex have been particularly silenced and, yes, demonized. (Quick!  how many derogatory terms can you think of that are used to describe women who enjoy sex?  Now how many derogatory terms can you think of that apply to men who enjoy sex?)

I make no apologies for the fact that I've had lots of sex and plan to continue to do so. (In my experience, it gets better with practice.) I practiced birth control during my fertile years because, like putting on a seat belt when riding in a moving vehicle, it's a responsible thing to do to prevent unnecessary suffering for myself and the people I love and who love me.  

Originally posted to nancyjones on Wed Jul 02, 2014 at 08:42 PM PDT.

Also republished by Sex, Body, and Gender and Sluts.

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