The vexing problem of thousands of children daring to seek what was promised on the Statue of Liberty in the radical, commie-socialist poem of Emma Lazarus ("Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, etc.") has presented Democrats, especially the liberal ones, with a terrible dilemma. If they advocate welcoming the kids, they stand a good chance of rousing the wrath of people who fear anything that might cost tax money and/or threaten jobs. If they suggest shipping the kids back to Central America, they risk becoming the same kind of Scrooge-inspired sourpusses as the Republicans.
"Conservatives," by which I mean the Scalia-Thomas kind of folks who hate the idea of messing with the original ideas of the Founders except when it favors business, have it a lot easier. For instance, in this diary, I'd like to present an idea that would fill all the requirements of the Republican Right, including no negative impact financially, huge benefits for the one percent and a continuation of the controlled attack on the Bill of Rights. Read on.

Simply, my proposal would involve rounding up all the children sneaking into these great United States and auctioning them off to the highest bidder. After all, it's worked in America before with African-Americans, so it should work equally well with Hispanics, especially young ones who can't fight back. Republicans should rejoice that there wouldn't have to be any increase in taxes - in fact, if it was done right, we might even see an uptick in stock prices as entrepreneurs snapped up the kids and rented them out to anyone who could afford them. These would probably be Republicans. We recall Leona Helmsley and her remarks about "the little people" and Mr. Romney's famous "47%." If the wealthy are good enough to rent the Congress after buying the Supreme Court, they surely deserve a few children to clean their houses.
As to objections from civil rights activists, this shouldn't be much of an obstacle. Since the "conservative" majority on the Supreme Court ruled that money was speech, it seems a given that they'll also decide that the more money someone has, the louder the speech would be. Corporations, being people, can easily outshout the majority of Americans who'd feel that the entire principle of the United States was being drowned in a sea of greed.
The prime argument, of course, is cost. President Obama has asked for more than six billion dollars to implement the law, signed by George W. Bush, to process the children and, if appropriate, help return them to their native countries. It would be so much easier to ignore the law - as has been done by the NSA, the CIA and many others, and use the six billion for corporate tax relief, should the Republicans take the House.
Who knows, perhaps the children might like domestic work and decide to reproduce when they get old enough. Better yet, they could be bred for profit - as Blacks were in the good old days of the American South.
Best of all, it would be a triumph for free enterprise over government regulation.

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