If any members of the Religious Right are on your holiday gift giving list, I'm sure you already know not to give them Tinky Winky or SpongeBob, both being outed and all. But, as a public service so you do not offend any Right Wing Sexual Conservatives this holiday season, I need to tell you about the latest outed children's character.
I've been hearing about a mysterious and sinister "homosexual agenda" from the Religious Right for years now, and thanks to the fine work of the American Family Association, I've finally gotten a glimpse of one of the true faces of this evil agenda.
Be prepared because it's shocking (evil face below jump):
Mothers protect your children! The American Girls are coming!
American Girl is a popular line of toys and books (which prior to the good work of AFA I had not personally heard of), but they're oh so much more than that. They have partnered with Girls Inc., a charity which seeks to empower and educate girls and young women. I'm trying to figure it out exactly, but as near as I can tell AFA sees American Girl as joining an evil gay and abortionist plot to get young girls pregnant, give them abortions, and then turn them gay. Or something.
AFA is alarmed that Girls Inc. believes women should have, gasp, "reproductive freedom." And that's not all:
According to Hooks, Girls Inc. also offers girls resources encouraging lesbianism and bi-sexuality. One of their publications states, "The emergence of a lesbian identity is an ongoing process, rather than an event." In addition, advocacy statement pages on the website state the group endeavors to eliminate "homophobia and other forms of discrimination" and that girls have a right to "positive, supportive environments and linkages to community resources for dealing with issues of sexual orientation."
So there you have it. Forget bin Laden and Zarqawi and forget about WMDs and natural disasters, the real armies of darkness the Religious Right will protect us from are led by Tinky Winky, SpongeBob and the latest outed children's character: American Girl.
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