OK

Why? Because Mr. Straight Talk is actually Mr. Double Talk. Just watch, wait, and listen. You'll hear a policy position you agree with on every issue. Just ignore what he's saying out of the other side of his mouth. (This advice actually goes for ALL Americans, conservative OR liberal.)

Need an example? Well, how about this?

Giuliani later defended Mukasey's formulation, suggesting that the liberal media was "misreporting" how waterboarding was done. McCain then laid into the former New York mayor today, saying, "They should know what it is. It is not a complicated procedure. It is torture."

But meanwhile, McCain's evil Bush-clone twin was busy voting against the Dem's 2008 anti-torture bill.

Want some more examples?

Campaign Finance Reform: Famously passed the McCain-Feingold bill, yet breaks the law to finance his own campaign. Oops. (You know, I think there's a word for that. What is it? Oh yes.... hypocrite.)

The Economy: We aren't in a recession. I mean, we are in a recession. Take your pick. After all "The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should," says McCain. (I wonder why... as the husband of a millionaire heiress, he must be finding this economy very stressful. I mean, most people only have to worry about their one house during this foreclosure crisis, and McCain has EIGHT!)

Bush Tax Cuts: Totally against them... well, if by "against" you actually mean "for."

The War: McCain detests war. So he says. But it "would be fine with" him if the U.S. military stayed in Iraq for "a hundred years." In fact, I believe he said that Americans won't mind occupying Iraq as long as there isn't violence against our troops, but we must stay through the violence until it ends and then we can leave. What?

Iran: Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran... (put to the tune of "Barbara Ann" it's quite catchy). But, again, he detests war. He just doesn't want to let al Qaeda in Iran get away with their evil deeds. (Psst! says Lieberman... al-Qaeda and Iran hate each other.)

Supporting the Troops: Oh, he's all for it! He's just not all for voting for it. He only wants to talk about it.

Family Values: Check. McCain wants you to know he's such a family values kind of guy, he's even got clergymen on his side. Fine men like Rev. Hagee (who thinks New Orleans deserved what it got) and Rod Parsley (who preaches hatred of Muslims). I wonder what they'd say about McCain divorcing his first wife in favor of a millionaire 20 years his junior who could finance his political career. I suppose one angle is that McCain's so in favor of marriage that he had to have more than one!

Katrina: McCain showed his affection for Katrina victims by visiting New Orleans recently. "Never again, never again will a disaster of this nature be handled in the terrible and disgraceful way that it was handled," said McCain. Had to make up for celebrating his birthday with Dubya in Arizona while they were getting their lives destroyed during the storm! (It's a shame that's caught on video too... I sure hope Obama doesn't use it in a campaign ad against him!)

Manufacturing Jobs: McCain visited Youngstown, Ohio, an area hurt by the loss of domestic manufacturing jobs. McCain showed compassion, saying "The men and women of Youngstown know what it feels like to be counted out. You've been written off a few times yourselves." Then he told them that free trade and NAFTA are great.

Civil Rights: Another stop on McCain's recent "It's Time for Action" tour was Selma, Alabama.

John McCain says he never saw greater courage than what was shown by the civil rights marchers who were attacked while crossing the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama, in 1965.

While he was posing for that photo op, McCain said he didn't think the government should butt into people's lives. Hmm, like the way they butted in and demanded equal rights for all people? You maverick! Then he said he would have voted against the recent bill calling for equal pay for women and minorities, if he had bothered showing up for work.

I know they call McCain a "maverick" but I have a better word for that side of his persona: Democrat. McCain get's credit for being a "maverick" for opposing Bush's tax cuts, for opposing torture, for passing campaign finance reform. That McCain could practically be the Democratic nominee for president!

You've heard the conventional wisdom about fake Republicans running against real Republicans, right? When a Dem runs as Republican-Lite, voters choose the real Republican every time. Shouldn't that go the other way too? When McCain presents himself as a faux Democrat, shouldn't voters see through it and pick the real Democrat instead? Let's hope. With the media giving McCain his favorite donuts with sprinkles as a treat, I kind of doubt it.

Originally posted to OrangeClouds115 on Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:40 PM PDT.

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