Shawn Domagal-Goldwin and colleagues at NASA's Planetary Science Division and Pennsylvania State University have just released a study entitled Would contact with extraterrestrials benefit or harm humanity? A scenario analysis, in which they explore potential impacts of alien invasion of Earth, and some possible motivations for such actions by our cosmic neighbors.

One reason the BEMs may be assembling the battle fleets? Global warming.

Yep. Apparently, seeing our technology get the better of our environment may lead potential Overlords to decide that our species and society have so lost control of our systems that we're ripe for plucking.

One bit of advice from the researchers with which I heartily agree: Stop broadcasting directions and descriptions of our delicious biological makeup!

(I've thought the same thing ever since I saw the little menu card known as the Arecibo message that we broadcast in 1974 like an all you can eat buffet flyering the neighborhood.)

To bolster humanity's chances of survival, the researchers call for caution in sending signals into space, and in particular warn against broadcasting information about our biological make-up, which could be used to manufacture weapons that target humans. Instead, any contact with ETs should be limited to mathematical discourse "until we have a better idea of the type of ETI we are dealing with."

Once we stop advertising our delicious haunches like Corky the pig, then we can deal with our larger problem: advertising the fact that we'd rather Venusize our atmosphere than turn down our damned thermostats.