Dear Pollyanna: I’m a Goldman Sachs exec and mother to my three beautiful children (ages: 12, 10, and 8). Yesterday morning, like every quarter, we had a top-exec meeting where we went through presidential campaigns filings to check the names of individual donors to different candidates. Majority of us contributed to Jeb, of course, and the other part gave to Ted Cruz – we all love his wife, our own, Heidi Cruz. The atmosphere in the room was cheerful and celebratory; both Jeb and Ted have raised lots of money. Suddenly a wave of terror hit me: I saw the name of my kids’ nanny on a list of donors to Bernie Sanders. I let a socialist nanny around my children! All shaken, I left the room and did a quick search: unlike mine, the nanny for Heidi Cruz’s kids donated the max $2700 to the Cruz campaign! What a humiliation! Just a few days ago we met them in Colorado Springs where my husband and I spent a lot of time with Heidi and Ted talking about proper ways to raise our children in this age of moral decline and government overreach. Both nannies – Cruz’s and ours - were there involved in the conversation and taking care of our children. And now it turns out our nanny is a socialist! I’m shocked – how could we put our kids into such a dangerous condition? What outlandish ideas did the socialist nanny install into their little heads? Whatever that would be, do you think it can be reversed? Should we warn Heidi and Ted that their kids have been exposed to a socialist every time we met together over the years? Please, help!

Desperate GS Exec

Dear Desperate GS Exec: As parents your overlook is serious but damages to your kids will be seen in full spectrum only after they reach voting eligibility age. However, there is still some time to correct what was done wrong. Calm and cool assessment of the acquired habits is necessary. Respond to these questions and apply corrections where needed: 1) While feeding your kids, did the socialist nanny just put the food and water in front of them, or did she make your kids fight with each other for the products? 2) During kids’ sickness, did the socialist nanny just take care of them, or did she make them pay her with their allowances for her care? 3) Finally, during the course of a normal day, did the socialist nanny oversee and regulate any kind of situations your kids were involved in, or did she leave your kids all alone? A socialist nanny in your environment is always an incapacitating agent. Inform your friends who had contact with her and stay positive – you caught the problem right in time.

Pollyanna