Now that Donald Trump has dispatched with his many Republican adversaries, he is ready to pivot to a kinder, gentler, more reasonable version of Donald Trump that might have some prayer of winning American voters who are not particularly insane themselves. What better way to do that than a speech to the National Rifle Association?
[NRA executive director Chris Cox] told the crowd that dishonesty, corruption and contempt for everyday Americans has hit its breaking point, warning that if gun owners don’t show up to the polls in droves this fall, “We will witness the end of individual freedom in this country.” [...]
Wayne LaPierre, NRA’s executive vice president, energized the crowd, asking if attendees were “ready to send Hillary into retirement? Or maybe an orange jumpsuit.” [...]
“We in this room, we are America's best hope, and this is our moment. In all of history, there's always been a time and a place when patriots stand up and rise up against the decree of the elites and shout, ‘No more! Get your hands off my freedom!’” LaPierre said.
Goodness, those will be tough acts to follow. But Donald Trump is no stranger to the bubbling froth of white guy paranoia, and bravely stood up in front of America's most prolific pants-soilers to tell them whatever bullshit might help them sleep worse at night.
Donald Trump on Friday called Hillary Clinton “the most anti-gun, anti-Second Amendment” presidential candidate to ever run for office and likened her posture on the issue to that of a dictator.
Nothing to see here, just an everyday, run-of-the-mill political speech by a serious candidate to his fellow serious Americans. Ignore the Three Stooges music in the background; pay no attention to the Zoidbergesque whoop-whoop-whooping sounds as our Republican candidate sprays ink into the audience to confuse and disorient potential predators.
"If she gets to appoint her judges, she will abolish the Second Amendment," Trump told an enthusiastic crowd. "In my opinion, that's what she's going to go for."
And in my opinion Wayne LaPierre is the world's least fuzzy werewolf, if we're just going to blurt out whatever comes into our minds. Oh, and he smells like cigarette smoke and Hot Pockets.
But perhaps the bigger news of the day was Trump's insistence, during the speech, that as president he would "get rid of" gun-free zones: boom, blam, done. This always goes down very well, even at the National Rifle Association's leadership forum, which is itself a ... gun-free zone. And Trump's own properties are "gun-free zones" as well, because even racist ex-butlers aren’t stupid enough to want yahoos with loaded rifles tromping through the lobby.
Which leads us to wonder if Trump would, say, call in the National Guard to enforce gun rights at Mar-a-lago despite what that anti-gun oligarch Trump might think about it. And it's true that you very seldom see assault rifles on golf courses these days, despite ISIS' known efforts to infiltrate our nation's top greens; would Donald Trump finally, at long last, allow America's various heavily armed crackpots free range of his own lily ponds and sand traps?
No doubt we will have to wait and see. Donald cannot comment right now; he is too busy pivoting to general election mode, shedding the skin of the delusional xenophobic extremist and trying his level best to be presidential and not insane and so forth. Next stop, the White House!