Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump—a series of words few people ever expected to see in one place as of a year or two ago, which are now as firmly ensconced above our news pages as the raven in the old Poe story—has dispatched with his Republican foes and must now pivot to, he hopes, more broadly appeal to that portion of America that is not Freaking Insane.
Let's check in on how that's going, shall we?
In one recent interview, Trump said another topic of potential concern is the suicide of former White House aide Vincent Foster, which remains the focus of intense and far-fetched conspiracy theories on the Internet.
“It’s the one thing with her, whether it’s Whitewater or whether it’s Vince or whether it’s Benghazi. It’s always a mess with Hillary,” Trump said in the interview.
For those of you who are not particularly old, this “Vince” bit may require some explanation. The premise is that Hillary Clinton, while first lady of the United States, murdered a White House staffer because she was displeased with him. Even in the thoroughly batshit crazy 1990s, a time when preachers were hypothesizing about Bill Clinton flying drugs into the country and Jonah Goldberg was just getting his start in the batshit crazy movement with the help of his mom (nice work if you can get it!), this was considered a fringe theory. Twenty-plus years at the bottom of Donald Trump's mildewed skull-hamper has not aged it well.
Conspicuously, Donald Trump has listed three conspiracy theories about Hillary Clinton which have been most notable for the purity of their conspiracy-ness. One of them involves a womanfolk who made money, which doesn't sit too well with Donald, apparently, since it's been stuck in his craw long enough to legally purchase liquor now. The other two involve Hillary Clinton supposedly murderin' folks willy-nilly (for that is always the worst kind of murdering, the willy-nilly kind) for getting in her way in some abstract, never quite definable way.
This will, no doubt, play to the base. It will especially play well to the members of the Republican base who have lived in their underground bunkers for twenty years and are only tentatively peeking their little meerkat heads above ground now, to see what news the future brings, and are relieved to find out that 1990s New York fixture Donald Trump is continuing to rock out to the oldies, New Year's Eve style.
As for the rest of the nation's voters, it is unclear whether Donald Trump accusing his opponent of murdering people will gain him many new converts. It seems, on the contrary, that Donald is having a harder time "pivoting" to address those voters than he expected to. Perhaps his hair needs re-loosening?