From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Dr. Billy’s Wednesday Chiropractic Checkup
Maine has two representatives and two senators. Let's see how their spines are aligned these days when it comes to the candidates for the highest office in the land:
The independent senator:
"I've got to vote for Hillary Clinton. I just can't in good conscience put someone in that airplane whose coolness and patience and judgment I have doubts about."
[H]is support came after boarding the "Doomsday Plane," the airplane that would provide command and control in the case of a nuclear attack. "When I got off the plane, my knees were a little weak with that realization how much power is in this one person. And then I thought about Donald Trump," he said.
King also said Clinton's testimony before the Benghazi committee won him over. "Never lost her temper. Never lost her cool," he said. "Never lost her patience. Answered every question. Was very solid. And I think most people even people who were opposed to her felt that was an amazing performance. That's as good as you're going to get as a photograph of somebody making decisions under pressure."
---Angus King
The Republican senator:
"I will not be voting for Donald Trump for president. … With the passage of time, I have become increasingly dismayed by his constant stream of cruel comments and his inability to admit error or apologize. … Mr. Trump’s tendency to lash out when challenged further escalates the possibility of disputes spinning dangerously out of control.
---Susan Collins
The Democratic congresswoman:
"I think people now understand how high the stakes are here. … I'm very enthusiastic about having someone so well qualified and to have a woman in the White House."
---Chellie Pingree
And last but not least, the first-term invertebrate Republican congressman with the lights-on-nobody-home grin Rep. Bruce Poliquin:
Yes, even after Trump suggested that maybe his gun-nut goons should kill his opponent, Poliquin is still on the fence. He wants a second term. He doesn’t deserve it. Toss a few bucks to Democratic challenger Emily Cain and help boot this creepy jerk.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Note: Roger Ailes is not a pig. We have standards. He does not meet them. Also: eat more chicken. ---National Porcine Relations Board for a Better Tomorrow
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Thanksgiving: 106
Days 'til the Kegs and Corks Festival at the Anne Arundel County Fairgrounds in Maryland: 10
Percent of Americans who approve of how Donald Trump handled his dispute with Khizr and Ghazala Khan in an ABC News/WaPost poll: 13%
Minimum number of Democratic fundraisers that'll be attended by Hillary Clinton, Tim Kaine or Bill Clinton this month, according to MSNBC: 85
Kilometers of security fencing at the Rio Olympic games, according to People: 200
Estimated number of people worldwide expected to tune in to watch at least some of the Olympic events: 3.6 billion
Number of robots who danced at a beer festival in China, or maybe the Chinese were all just drunk and thought that's what they saw: 1,007
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Team USA Olympic Medal Count
Gold 9 Silver 8 Bronze 9
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Mid-week Rapture Index:
187 (including 5 volcanoes and 1 looming GOP apocalypse). Soul Protection Factor 30 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Marathon runner gets company…
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JEERS to Badger State blues. Primary elections were held in Wisconsin yesterday. The big (if unsurprising) story among Democrats was confirmation that Russ Feingold will be the challenger against hapless Ron Johnson in November---yay, easy pickup! On the Republican side there's good news and bad news. The good news: Paul Nehlen got trounced so we're still gonna have Paul Ryan to kick around. The bad news: Paul Nehlen got trounced so Paul Ryan will still be around to be kicked.
CHEERS to the new kid on the campaign trail. There's a “spoiler” candidate tossing his hat in the ring this week, and since he's a Republican in independent's clothing who'll siphon votes from Donald Trump, we say welcome aboard! Here are the particulars on Evan “Love Child of Rob Corddry and Chris Hardwick” McMullin:
Age: 40
Home state: Utah
Billionaire benefactor: Unclear at this point, but he's a former Goldman Sachs guy, so we doubt he'll have trouble turning on the money spigot. Plus there's the super PAC that recruited him.
Claim to fame: He's a former CIA operative and (up until two days ago) a foreign affairs adviser to House Republicans.
Central campaign theme: "Vote for me because Donald Trump is a real threat to the stability of our republic and also I know how to call in a black helicopter to disappear you if you don't."
Voter base: Mormons in Utah.
Site of campaign announcement: An undisclosed location with a fax machine.
Evan McMullin fun fact: He's not eligible to be on the ballot in over two-dozen states because he missed their deadlines.
Go get 'em, kiddo!
CHEERS to today's edition of "He Says That Like It's A Bad Thing!" Right-wing Pastor Kevin Swanson, who advocates the death penalty for LGBT people, opines on the current race for the White House:
In order for Clinton to be vindicated, she has got to prove herself by winning the power struggle over the highest office in the land. This is what defines America today. Feminism’s greatest victory. If they can achieve the ultimate zenith of power, this will become the final chapter, in a sense, of the present war that feminists have waged over this nation. The nation has embraced feminism hook, line and sinker."
This has been today's edition of "He Says That Like It's A Bad Thing!"
CHEERS (because we never jeer anyone on their birthday) to Herbert Hoover. Today marks #31's 142nd orbit around the sun. He was in some ways an outstanding public servant. But, lord, what a disastrous, cold-hearted presidency, won by employing his own southern strategy in 1928 and sunk by the Great Depression and vast seas of Hoovervilles. A couple vignettes about Hoover sum up his personality as a politician...
From Anything for a Vote by Joseph Cummins:
Hoover's handlers often filmed him romping with a large dog to loosen up his image a bit, but he was a man who always wore a full suit and stiff collar, who read speeches in a perfunctory monotone. ("I can only make so many speeches," he once said. "I only have so much to say.")
During interviews he would restrict himself to answering questions without elaborating, and when he was finished, he looked at the questioner blankly, "like a machine that has run down," as one startled reporter put it. […]
By 1928, radio networks…extended nationwide [and] any major political address could expect to reach forty million listeners. … When someone asked him if he got a thrill out of speaking over the radio he snapped: "The same thrill I get when I rehearse an address to a doorknob."
Or, in modern-day terms, to Mitch McConnell.
JEERS to not quite understanding how things work. C&J feels sympathy toward the parents (the same ones who appeared at the Republican convention last month) who lost their sons during the attacks on the diplomatic compound in Benghazi, but the lawsuit that's been filed on their behalf against Hillary Clinton is frivolous and destined to fail. And just as sure as the sunrise, you can bet there's a nut-job opportunist behind this lawsuit---an apparent ambulance-chasing teabagger named Larry Klayman. Here's a hot-off-the-press example of his gravitas:
“Look, [Barack Obama is] half-Muslim, he associates with his father, he wrote a book extolling the virtues of his father …
So he feels some affinity for Iran, and he’s acted that way at the expense of Israel,” Klayman told Newsmax’s Steve Malzberg. “They’re now on the verge of nuclear weapons if they don’t already have it. And it’s totally consistent with his, frankly, anti-Semitic behavior and anti-Israeli behavior for the last seven years.” […]
"This man, frankly, is a traitor to our country. If he had been anything other than African-American---and I don’t mean to cast aspersions on African-Americans, we have many colleagues that are that way and actually stand for really good values---but he would have been impeached and convicted by now.”
If this goes anywhere it'll bust the door wide open for similar lawsuits for the dozens of diplomatic mission personnel killed during previous presidencies. Fortunately, it's not going anywhere---even Fox News admits that. The risks come with the job. End of story. Admittedly, a very sad story.
CHEERS to great advances in libationology. On August 10, 1889, Dan Rylands patented the screw cap for bottles. Our rule: if it curls my nose hairs when I sniff it, the bartender is free to pour it.
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 10, 2006
JEERS to Sore Loserman. The New York Times summed up Joe Lieberman's loss well yesterday:
When Mr. Lieberman told The Washington Post, "I haven't changed. Events around me have changed," he actually put his finger on his political problem. His constituents felt that when the White House led the country into a disastrous international crisis and started subverting the nation's basic traditions, Joe Lieberman should have changed enough to take a lead in fighting back.
He's taking a lead in fighting back, alright...against them that brung him to the dance. Is it too late to take back my vote from 2000?
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And just one more…
JEERS to fear-based marketing: the annual update. Five years ago the conservative media outlet "NewsMax" posted an ad that caught my eye on Facebook. The ad still shows up occasionally on right-wing conspiracy sites, and this was the copy they posted to get people to click on it:
Obama's Coming Depression
50% unemployment,
90% stock market collapse,
100% inflation.
See the evidence.
Shocked and horrified, I clicked as fast as I could so I could "see the evidence." It turns out they're---surprise!---feasting on ignorant people's fear and paranoia to sell shitty investments. I actually read the fine print, and here's what it said, in part (and, yes, in all caps):
NO GUARANTEE OF ANY KIND IS IMPLIED OR POSSIBLE WHERE PROJECTIONS OF FUTURE CONDITIONS ARE ATTEMPTED. IN NO EVENT SHOULD THE CONTENT OF THIS REPORT BE CONSTRUED AS AN EXPRESS OR IMPLIED PROMISE, GUARANTEE OR IMPLICATION BY OR FROM THE SERVICES, NEWSMAX OR ANY OF ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AFFILIATES OR OTHER AGENTS THAT YOU WILL PROFIT OR THAT LOSSES CAN OR WILL BE LIMITED IN ANY MANNER WHATSOEVER.
Five years later, a fact-check is in order: unemployment is 4.9%, the stock market is in record-high territory (18,500), and inflation is 1.0 percent. So I say, buy buy buy! (Disclaimer: As always, by that I mean buy anything but what NewsMax is selling.)
Have a nice Wednesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Michael Phelps stares down preening, obnoxious Bill in Portland Maine before 200 fly kiddie pool rematch
---Fox Sports
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