Former Rep. Michele Bachmann, who is a member of Donald Trump's Godly Adviser Task Force, or at least his godly "advisory board,” is quite certain that Donald Trump won the Republican nomination because God did that.
“I don’t think God sits things out. He’s a sovereign God. Donald Trump became our nominee. I think it’s very likely that in the day that we live in, that Donald Trump is the only individual who could win in a general election of the 17 who ran,” the former Minnesota congresswoman told CBN News’ The Brody File. [...]
“I actually supported Ted Cruz. I thought he was fabulous, but I also see that at the end of the day God raised up, I believe, Donald Trump who was going to be the nominee in this election,” she said.
Presuming Bachmann is in spiritual tune with the creator of all things (and she must be because she says she is), there are several possibilities here. First, that Donald J. Trump, that Donald J. Trump, the one whose entire schtick is the semi-creative belittlement of any that cross his path and whose entire interior design aesthetic is to use so much gold leaf that it looks like King Midas himself ran around the premises licking things, is indeed the most Godly representation of Godliness that could be found in the modern Republican party. (He was competing against other candidates like ex-preacher Mike Huckabee, of course, who he routed handily.)
Or second, God Himself has had just about enough of Donald Trump's gargantuan ego and is putting the screws to the rest of the Republican Party in a single-minded attempt to teach hairboy a lesson even hairboy won't soon forget.
It's impossible to say. But Michele Bachmann is quite certain that Donald Trump is the new face of the Republican Party because God wants it that way, which adds quite the spiritual twist to this biblically farcical election season.