Rudy Giuliani has been floating around the Trump outdoor pool for a while now, apparently still in search of a position that requires no actual work and—God forbid—no uncomfortable Senate hearings running down the more colorful episodes of his past. So now Trump is appointing him to, as the elderly kids say these days, the cyber.
President-elect Trump is very pleased to announce former Mayor Rudy Giuliani will be sharing his expertise and insight as a trusted friend concerning private sector cyber security problems and emergency solutions developing in the private sector. [...]
Mr. Giuliani was asked to initiate this process because of his long and very successful government career in law enforcement and his now sixteen years of work providing security solutions in the private sector.
Yes, the Giuliani name is synonymous with success, and security, and most especially Da Cyber. It was between Rudy 9/11 and Patrick Hogan's grandpa.
Despite being the alleged "chairman of the global cyber security practice at Greenberg Traurig," an interesting media parlor game for the next week or so will be scraping to find any instance, in any forum, of Rudy Giuliani so much as mentioning "cyber security" in any context that makes him sound like he has the slightest idea of what he is talking about. At some point in this process, somebody is going to ask Rudy Giuliani what a router is—at which point he will likely throw a flash-bang grenade and escape into the network of secret tunnels already being built for Trump appointees fleeing awkward questions—but until that day comes, Rudy will apparently be in charge of, according to the actual Trump press release, organizing meetings with a variety of companies facing cyber "challenges," meetings from which "no consensus advice or recommendations" will be "expected" or so much as "solicited."
Whoa there, buddy. Let's make sure we're not biting off more than we can chew.
All right, so the long search for a job even Rudy Giuliani can do is apparently over. He will be in charge of orchestrating meetings with private companies to discuss, but not draw any particular conclusions from, their cyber. He will presumably need a whole team of assistants to do such vital tasks as getting donuts for the meetings, getting coffee for the meetings, and getting more donuts for the meetings.
But don't be cynical about this, please. It may look like yet another episode of ridiculous cronyism, in which Trump rewards all his best brownnosers with extremely ambiguous government jobs that have no apparent fixed duties and report to nobody, but it could also be that Donald Trump is very serious about the security challenges facing our nation's critical infrastructure—and sending Rudy Freaking Giuliani to some meetings is, in fact, his actual, sincere plan for getting to the bottom of these things.
It could be one or the other. We just don't know.