Hispanic Federation Fund for Puerto Rico Relief Link
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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night Snark: Welcome to 2018 Edition
“The rats are finally eating their young. This administration is unlike anything ever. There are three new scandals every day. The wheels just keep coming off and somehow the bus keeps rolling. I don’t know how many wheels are on this bus.”
---Jimmy Kimmel
“The Trump presidency is basically a marathon. It’s painful, it’s pointless, and the majority of you didn’t even agree to run it, you were just signed up by your dumbest friend.”
---John Oliver
Trump tweet: “It could be the coldest New Year’s Eve on record. Perhaps we could use a little bit of that good old global warming that our country, but not other countries, was going to pay trillions of dollars to protect against. Bundle up!”
Stephen Colbert: Because Donald Trump is cold right now, that’s evidence that the earth is not getting any warmer. Just like because Donald Trump is president right now, that’s evidence we’ve never had a competent president.
---The Late Show
And from daytime:
“My name was trending [on twitter] because of this [headline]: 'Eric Trump suggests that Ellen DeGeneres is part of the Deep State.'
So I have some questions. First of all, which one is Eric---did he kill the elephant or the cheetah? I just wanna say, Eric, I am honored that you think that I'm powerful enough to be part of a government conspiracy. I am sorry to disappoint you, I am not part of the Deep State. Even if somebody wanted me to be involved, I don't have that kind of time. I've got my gay agenda meetings on Mondays. On Wednesday Beyoncé and I host an illuminati brunch. And then Portia and I on the weekends are desperately trying to have a baby so I can't. I don't have time."
---Ellen DeGeneres
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, January 5, 2018
Note: Grumbling about global warming will cease until warming actually resumes. ---Maine Frozen Toes Prevention Committee
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Martin Luther King, Jr. Day: 10
Days 'til Bavarian Ice Fest in Leavenworth, Washington: 8
Estimated amount of red meat and poultry that the average American will eat this year, according to the USDA: 222 pounds
Number of daily temperature readings in cities across the USA that tied or broke record lows for the last week of December, according to NOAA: 1,600
Degrees warmer than normal the Arctic was on Tuesday, according to the University of Maine Climate Change Institute: 6
Estimated size of the mushroom market 6 years from now: $50 billion
Weight of the Chinese Tiangong-1 space station that will be crashing into your neighbor’s roof sometime in March: 19,000
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Tummy rub!!!
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CHEERS to whacking the hive with a baseball bat. Since this is the first week of a new year, and since you’ve all been really good so far, I made something extra-special for you tonight. In fact, I suffered greatly for your amusement. It’s a sampler of the comments I found when I waded through the toxic sludge over at Breitbart.com in the wake of Michael Wolff’s new book which (among many other things) allows former chief strategist Steve Bannon to gut the Trump administration like a fish and leave it flopping by the side of the road. Suffice it to say, confusion reigns as the weakest brains on planet earth try to figure out where their allegiances lay:
“I saw Bannon as a counter culture Maverick, now he seems weak and pathetic sticking the shiv in POTUS who trusted him.”
“Why is Trump acting like a tyrant? This is fodder for his enemies. Very troubling and it feels like he’s dividing his base in support of the swamp dwellers.”
“Trump's base is loyal to Trump. We don't need Bannon!”
“Attempted HIT job on Bannon......nothing more....”
“Steve Bannon blew it and now he’s burnt toast that needs to be disposed of.”
“Steve is the idea, he is the man who made the movement. Without Steve Hillary would be president. Trump betrayed Steve.”
“Be thankful for all of the positive policy changes from this historic president that are finally getting this country back on track.”
“As a FORMER Trump supporter, I hope Trump gets impeached now.”
“Bannon is an America first, pro working man, anti-US, strong borders and anti-immigration crusader. Anyone for these values can see Trump isn't one of us. FAKE CONCERVATIVE BANNON HAS TO GO, HE IS A VIRUS IN THE SYSTEM THAT ONLY HELPS THE DEMOCRATS, BANNON = THE NEW GLENN BECK AND KASICH.”
We hope you enjoyed that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to spend a few minutes getting hosed down. I’d hate to leave a toxic sludge ring around the kiddie pool.
CHEERS to thinking of summer. If you or someone you know is thinking of going to Netroots Nation in August, but you haven't registered yet, Eric Thut has some good news about saving yourself 50 smackeroonies. But fair warning: the deadline is tonight…
“Do you find yourself needing a recharge for the coming year? Do you want to improve your organizing skills in 2018? Why not gift yourself with a ticket to the largest progressive gathering of the year?
This week, we're rolling back our rate to attend Netroots Nation 2018 in New Orleans.
Our 2018 conference is August 2–4 at the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center in New Orleans. If you've been to Netroots Nation before, you know what a rich experience it is, complete with 60+ hands-on trainings, rich panel discussions and numerous opportunities to get inspired and connect with other activists.”
The NN18 discount ends tonight at midnight Pacific time. Click here to reserve your spot. And then think about what you'll do with the 50 bucks you're saving. I'm splitting mine between a down-payment on world peace and accordion lessons.
CHEERS to proof in the planet’s pudding. Anyone who even modestly enjoys living and breathing on our galactic home sweet home will appreciate hearing that earth is getting a bit healthier in an important way:
For the first time, scientists have shown through direct satellite observations of the ozone hole that levels of ozone-destroying chlorine are declining, resulting in less ozone depletion. […]
Measurements show…about 20 percent less ozone depletion during the Antarctic winter than there was in 2005---the first year that measurements of chlorine and ozone during the Antarctic winter were made by NASA’s Aura satellite. […]
CFCs are long-lived chemical compounds that eventually rise into the stratosphere, where they are broken apart by the Sun’s ultraviolet radiation, releasing chlorine atoms that go on to destroy ozone molecules. Stratospheric ozone protects life on the planet by absorbing potentially harmful ultraviolet radiation that can cause skin cancer and cataracts, suppress immune systems and damage plant life. … Looking forward, the Antarctic ozone hole should continue to recover gradually as CFCs leave the atmosphere, but complete recovery will take decades.
[Wipes hands] There ya go, kids. You can’t say anymore that we oldsters did nothing to make your future better. (You may, however, continue saying that we did next-to-nothing.)
CHEERS to Democratic bulldogs. Former Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill---who coined the phrase "All politics is local"---died 24 years ago today at 81. His 1994 New York Times obituary is an excellent read on retail politics and how Team D can differentiate itself from Team R:
He was a large, joyous, generous-spirited man with a bulbous nose, yellowed white hair that flopped over his forehead and an ever-present cigar. […]
Mr. O'Neill was an old-style politician and proud of it, a House Speaker comfortable with power, who clung to his brand of liberalism long after it ceased to be fashionable, even among his fellow Democrats.
An early opponent of the Vietnam War, Mr. O'Neill took strong positions on many controversial issues. He was the Congressional leader who pushed hardest for the impeachment of President Richard M. Nixon and later, as Speaker, put his prestige on the line for Congressional reform. […] To Mr. O'Neill, who spoke of the Democratic Party with near-religious fervor, the party was the one of the cities, the working people, the poor, the needy, the unemployed, the sick and the disinherited. "And no way are we ever going to let them down," he would insist.
Pay your respects here. Bulbously.
CHEERS to the couple that keeps on keepin' on. On January 6, 1945, George H.W. Bush married Barbara Pierce, and together they became the most famous George and Barbara Bush in American history. We wish them a happy 73rd anniversary and all, but the product of their hot night fogging up the Studebaker windows, George W, darn near destroyed our republic. That's why I'm still pushing for a constitutional amendment to outlaw the biggest threat to civilization: Republican marriage.
P.S. Greetings also to George and Martha Washington on their 259th wedding anniversary. Don’t worry about sending them a gift...they haven't spoken in years.
CHEERS to home vegetation. SNL, Real Time and Last Week Tonight are still on hiatus, so comic relief this weekend will be mostly limited to the Golden Globes Sunday night on NBC (more on that below). New home video releases include the must see Battle of the Sexes (Emma Stone and Steve Carrel both nominated for Golden Globes) and Tom Cruise’s mini-comeback in American Made. The basketball schedule is here, the hockey schedule is here and the NFL concussion production schedule is here. On 60 Minutes: veterans battle the brain disease CTE, and Leslie Stahl talks with the head of Russia Today (RT) about its role in spreading bullshit news during the 2016 election (and, well, every day since). On Fox, the Simpsons go to a STEM conference and Brian enters a dog show on Family Guy. And Sunday at 8:30, the second half of the Star Trek: Discovery season kicks off on CBS-You-Gotta-Pay-For.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Oooh, this is a big ‘get.’ Fire and Fury author Michael Wolff spills more beans about the sicko in the White House.
This Week: TBA
Face the Nation: Fossil Haley Barbour? Really? Why??? Plus CIA director Mike Pompeo and Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY). Three Republicans, zero Democrats.
CNN's State of the Union: TBA
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: CIA director Mike Pompeo; former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 5, 2008
JEERS to idle hands. Oh, here's another thing President Bush will be remembered for: a sucky record on jobs. The latest "unambiguously negative" numbers: only 18,000 jobs created in December and an increase in the unemployment rate. Not that this'll help much, but this crisp five-dollar bill is yours if you'll come over and shovel the sidewalk. [1/5/18 Update: In related news, CNN says it best: “Trump's first-year jobs record was strong. Just not as strong as Obama's last year.” Owie!!!]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the Night Of A Hundred Drunken Celebrities. The Golden Globes will be handed out Sunday. They tend to be a more raucous and goofy affair than the Oscars, mainly because the open bar starts ladling out the drinks at 8am. And even if you can't stand awards shows, it'll be worth peeking at for host Seth Meyers' opener, and certainly to see the presence of the #MeToo movement. You can peruse the nominations here. As usual, I haven’t seen half the movies yet, but that's never stopped me from making dangerously uninformed predictions before. (Like, Mike Gravel will definitely be the Democratic nominee in 2008 and beat Ron Paul in an 80-20 landslide.) So here goes:
Picture (drama): The Shape of Water
Picture (musical or comedy): Lady Bird
Director: Christopher Nolan for Dunkirk
Actress (drama): Sally Hawkins for The Shape of Water
Actress (comedy): Saoirse Ronan for Lady Bird
Actor (drama): Gary Oldman for Darkest Hour
Actor (comedy): James Franco for The Disaster Artist
Supporting Actor: Willem Dafoe for The Florida Project
Supporting Actress: Laurie Metcalf for Lady Bird
TV Series (Drama): The Handmaid’s Tale
TV Series (Comedy): Black-ish