It is Wednesday, January 27, 2021, and President-for-life Donald J. Trump decides to consolidate his power by proposing a new law to require the classification of every man, woman, and child in every state and territory.
Trump came up with the idea after North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un told him about ‘Songbun’, a caste system created by his grandfather, Kim Il-Sung, to eliminate potential threats to his power and wealth.
After Vladimir Putin gave his blessing to the creation of a Trump ‘Songbun’, Vice-President Mariya Putin Faassen, Special Minister of foreign policy John Bolton, Defense Secretary Stephen Miller, and Counsel to the President Mike Tyson spent several tumultuous minutes in the Oval Office helping Trump focus his attention on creating the following classifications:
Castaways - Any poor person of color who, for whatever reason, is in the country illegally or has attempted, is attempting, or will attempt to emigrate to the United States or claim ‘asylum’ to enter the United States or has ever been arrested, no matter the legal outcome of his or her case. Castaways would have no constitutional protections and would not be eligible for due process under the law. Castaways and their children would be systematically deported or permanently incarcerated in prisons on military bases around the country.
Redundants – Any poor person of any color. Redundants would include disabled, homeless, chronically ill and elderly people who would in any way burden the Medicare system or require Social Security payments. Redundants would have no constitutional protections and would not be eligible for due process under the law and would be placed on ‘lifetime probation’. Redundants and their children would be required to wear ankle monitors and would have to report monthly to the nearest probation office or be subject to arrest and permanent incarceration.
Belligerents – Any person of any color who has ever said anything not ‘nice’ to or about Trump or admits to ever thinking something not ‘nice’ about Trump. Includes even wealthy white people who ever were or are now part of the media or ever supported or voted for a Democrat, Independent, or Liberal. Belligerents would not be allowed to work and would be required to forfeit all assets to the New Trump Foundation. Belligerents and their children would have no constitutional protections, would not be eligible for due process, and would be systematically rounded up and permanently incarcerated in prisons on military bases around the country.
Denizens – Any white employed person with a high school education or better, no arrest record, and no history of ever having spoken out against a Trump notion, idea, lie, or policy. Denizens would be permitted to move freely throughout the United States and would be authorized to own property including cars, cell phones, computers, homes and televisions. Denizens and their children would be required to apply to Homeland Security once each year to have Denizen status ‘reauthorized’.
Confederates – Any white person with a net worth of one million dollars or more and a documented history of associating with colleagues, friends, and family members who’ve been consistently loyal to Trump. Confederates would include the wealthiest one-percent, especially high-profile attorneys, bankers, real estate investors, hedge fund managers, Republican politicians, corporate executives, selected celebrities, rich retirees, and Alan Dershowitz. Confederates would be allowed to vote and would be able to travel to and from domestic and foreign destinations at will. Confederates would be required to apply to and pay a one million dollar cash deposit to the White House Counsel once each year to have their status ‘reauthorized’.
Who would you be?