For most Americans, Texas Republican douchenozzle Ted Cruz represents the bare grotesqueness of ambition and narcissism. Many of us would not be surprised if Beelzebub himself arose out of a volcano to do a few campaign ads for Cruz. Like most prominent GOP officials, Sen. Cruz has made a career of doing almost nothing for his constituents, while doing a lot for himself and the men that pay his bills. Comedian Deno DeMartino decided to have fun at Ted Cruz’s expense back in 2016 by setting up the wonderful, satirical tedcruzforhumanpresident.com. With Sen. Cruz up for election again in the next couple of weeks, it is high time we revisit the smile-inducing website.
The website reads like it was written by the Bot himself. With call-out lines like:
I have over 42 years!
I once observed a child traversing on wheeled shoes. I will work tirelessly to find out what this technology is called and demand the earth children turn its schematics over to me, forthwith
There are beautiful testimonials for Cruz on this site as well.
Ted Cruz is only one being and not several.
- Guy Manderson
I have seen many people and Ted Cruz is one of them
This won’t change the elections coming up. But it’s a nice reminder to smile in the face of the tragedy that is Senator Ted Cruz. Beto O'Rourke is doing his best to rid Texas of him in the next three weeks.
If you want to help in that effort, head over and donate $1 or $2, maybe $3 to Democrats running to replace Republicans in the Senate.