From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night Snark: Bored with All the National Emergencying? Edition
"I'm basically taking military money so I can haz wall. I'm signing these emergency papers. And then I'm gonna be sued. And the ruling will not go in my favor. And it'll end up in the Supreme Court. And then I'll call my buddy Kavanaugh. And I'll say 'It's time to repay the Donny.' And he'll say 'New phone, who dis? ' And then the Mueller report will be released, crumbling my house of cards. And my personal hell of playing president will finally be over."
---President Trump (Alec Baldwin) in his sing-song voice, on SNL
“He sounds like a 5-year-old telling you what he saw at the zoo.”
---Seth Meyers
“[This national emergency is] like a pilot coming out of the cockpit with a parachute saying, ‘Look, I don’t have to open the emergency door, but we’re right over my house and I don’t want to fight traffic.’”
---Trevor Noah
"He responded to this newly-declared national emergency by, just hours later, flying off to Florida for the weekend, where he was photographed waiting at an omelet bar. Y'know, the kind of thing you do when America is in crisis."
---John Oliver
"By the way, you know what an actual national emergency is? The climate change that let the president have an outdoor press conference in the middle of February."
---Colin Jost, SNL
If you planted a victory garden to show your support for our president at this critical time, please note that this is the weekend to rotate out your Sour Diesel and rotate in your Granddaddy Purple.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, February 22, 2019
C&J Scheduling Note: Anyone feel like dressing up as me and taking a turn in the chemo chair Monday morning right after we post (a bit earlier than usual)? Anyone? Okay, fine, be that way…and I don’t blame you a bit. This is infusion #11 out of 12, and if it hits me like it did last week, Tuesday and Wednesday will be no-shows and Thursday will also be questionable. We apologize for the inconvenience. But on the bright side, at least the end is in sight. After six months of whining and complaining, I don’t know who'll be more relieved, me or my oncologist. ---Mgt
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Michael Cohen testifies publicly in front of the House Intelligence Committee: 4
Days 'til the San Diego Festival of Science and Engineering: 8
Percent of voters who say they do and do not, respectively, support the components in the Green New Deal proposal, according to a Morning Consult-Politico poll: 48%, 28%
Percent support for Bernie Sanders among Democrats who say they are and are not, respectively, big followers of politics, according to a separate MC-Politico poll: 16%, 31%
Favorability of the Democratic and RATpublican parties, respectively, in Virginia, according to a new Quinnipiac poll: 44%, 33%
Years since Beijing’s Forbidden City was open to the public at night, as it was this year to mark the end of the Lunar New Year holiday: 94
Birthday Gloria Vanderbilt celebrated this week: 95
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Yeah. Especially on Fridays…
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CHEERS to fashioning the liberal agenda out of fire and steel (or, if you prefer, just plain old pixels). Just a quick reminder that there's a big Netroots Nation convention deadline coming up next Thursday. If you have an idea for a panel or workshop that you want to propose and coordinate for this year's convention (July 11-13---Philadelphia), just click here for the guidelines and submission form. A few suggested pointers from Mary Rickles for possible panel topics:
» Conversations about how we define and popularize an inclusive, progressive 2020 platform centered on equality, sustainability, prosperity and justice
» Case studies showcasing lessons learned from the 2018 primaries
» Sessions highlighting efforts to strengthen our democracy, from expanding voting rights to ensuring that our elected leadership is responsive to their constituents and communities
» Trainings that help newer activists grow into successful organizers and candidates
Submissions are judged by topic-specific panels and then by the public in a month or so. The link for all the panel submission info is here. Deadline is 6 days from today. I’m very much looking forward to this year’s convention. It’ll be my first chance to test out my Ben Franklin re-animation serum. (I can’t wait to see his reaction when he sees what we’ve done with electricity.)
JEERS to all the president's maggots. Behold three of the latest living examples of the Trump doctrine, which of course is: "I only hire the best people, believe me…"
» His current Labor Secretary, Alexander Acosta, got busted by a judge yesterday for leading a legal prosecution team that protected a pedophile billionaire who preyed on teenage girls at Trump's Mar-A-Lago sex cult castle by keeping the victims of his client's crimes in the dark while doing special favors for him. Acosta has not resigned.Yet.
» His closest political adviser, Roger Stone, awaiting trial for perjury, witness tampering, and obstruction of justice, got busted yesterday for posting a disturbing image of the presiding judge with crosshairs next to her, and then bad-mouthing her as a member of the "deep state." In response, Judge Amy Berman Walker turned her partial gag order against him into a total gag order.
» His 2016 campaign manager, Paul Manafort, learned his official sentencing date in a Virginia federal court. Two weeks from today, he'll get confirmation from a judge that he'll be spending the rest of his life in prison. Then, five days later, he'll be sentenced in a D.C. court.
That's in addition to corruption surrounding his son, his other son, his “senior White House adviser” son-in-law, “senior White House adviser” daughter, wife (for high fashion crimes and misdemeanors), Commerce Secretary, former National Security Chief, Treasury secretary, Transportation secretary, Housing secretary, Energy secretary, FCC chairman, White House physician... On second thought, maybe I should just post who's not in trouble: Barron.
P.S. [Tweeeeeet!!! ] Penalty on the field. Personal foul. Trump’s BFF in the NFL. Illegal use of tallywacker. Sixty-days in the hoosegow. Still first down. [Tweeeeeet!!!]
CHEERS to Massachusetts liberals. Ted Kennedy was born 87 years ago today and it goes without saying that we on the left still miss him with vigah. Here’s some classic Ted from 2007: lambasting Republicans for turning down the first increase in the minimum wage in ten years. I love the routine: like a seasoned baseball player he steps up, knocks the dirt off his shoes, goes through his warm-up moves, and then…Thwack! Off he goes. I will never tire of hearing Ted in righteous-bellow mode…
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Pay your respects here.Tonight in the Daily Kos after-hours cafe (of course): Boston cream pies and keep ‘em comin’.
CHEERS to cool science. A Japanese spacecraft that launched five years ago (I just assume it's called the Pokemon-1) finally reached its destination yesterday, landing on an asteroid to collect samples of it in an unusual way:
[Its] challenge will be to fire the bullet and then deploy a container to collect samples of the material kicked up from the surface by the impact.
JAXA tested the process on Earth, firing a bullet into gravel held within a chamber designed to mimic the vacuum of space. Researchers determined that the resulting rocky debris would be small enough to be collected and brought back to Earth for analysis. But that will take awhile: The samples aren't scheduled to arrive here until late 2020.
That's when we'll discover that the asteroid "fragment" is actually a living "rock monster" that, when exposed to oxygen, balloons to a 200-ton, 400-foot-high behemoth with eye lasers, poison quills down its spine, and gigantic rock feet capable of stomping Tokyo to dust. All I can say is, thank heavens they have Godzilla on the payroll. (And, if need be, second-stringer Ultra Man. Assuming he's not out on a sake bender with Mothra.)
JEERS to really crappy odds. On tomorrow's date in 1836, three thousand Mexicans attacked 182 Texans at The Alamo. By this account, it was intense:
Brandishing his assault rifle, Six-star General Ronald Reagan and his second-in-command, Colonel Donald Trump, took turns picking off the attackers as Sarah Palin and Ted Cruz loaded and fired the two functional cannons.
After Democrats fled in panic, Louie Gohmert and members of the House Freedom Caucus arrived in the nick of time to save the day. The surrender ceremony was conducted on a battleship, followed by a ticker tape parade featuring all the tanks and missile launchers in the glorious American freedom arsenal.
That's why today San Antonio is the capitol of the United States and God hates libturd moonbats.
Um, Texas school board textbook committee? I think we need to have a little chat.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Kind of a quiet week for TV, unless you're a die-hard Academy Awards fan (more on that below).
The gang at MSNBC kicks things off by unpacking all the Friday news dump bon-bons. On HBO's Real Time at 10, Bill Maher talks with House Intelligence Chairman Adam Schiff (D-CA), Donna Brazile, Rick Wilson, former Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO), and French intellectual Bernard-Henri Levy. New home video releases include A Star is Born and the J.J. Abrams-produced WWII-horror flick Overlord. The NBA schedule is here and the NHL schedule is here. The host-less Oscars (the nominations list is here, but the only win I'll really care about is when part-time Mainer Glenn Close finally wins her long-overdue first statuette) will start Sunday night at 8pm on ABC and end sometime in mid-March. And I'm happy to be able to say again that the weekend will wrap up at 11 with another award-winning edition of John Oliver's Last Week Tonight on HBO.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: TBA
Face the Nation: Sens. Ed Markey (D-MA) and Roy Blunt (R-MO); Washington Governor Jay Inslee (D) and New Mexico Michelle Lujan Grisham (D); Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL).
This Week: House Intelligence Committee chairman Adam Schiff (D-CA); former FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe; Legal analyst Dan Abrams; North Korea summit preview with former Trump Homeland Security and Counterterrorism Adviser Tom Bossert, Brookings Institution Korea Studies Chair and former CIA Analyst Jung Pak, and former U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. and New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson.
CNN's State of the Union: Secretary of State Mike Pompous; former U.S. attorney (fired by Trump) Preet Bharara and former Obama homeland security adviser Lisa Monaco.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: DNC chair Tom Perez; Secretary of State Mike Pompous.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 22, 2009
CHEERS to one month down, 95 to go. Here's a quick history lesson to give you some perspective on George W. Bush's first 30 days in office and Barack Obama's (it’s also a decent general contrast between what the two parties stand for):
Bush: Drain treasury with tax cuts for the rich, think of ways to justify future invasion of Iraq, mark upcoming six-week summer vacation on Garfield calendar.
Obama: Prevent teetering banks from failing, solve catastrophic housing crisis, stem skyrocketing unemployment, reinvigorate demolished financial sector, develop new strategy for winning seven-year-old war in Afghanistan, coordinate resolution of six-year-old war in Iraq, rebuild America's crumbling infrastructure, restore America's tattered reputation in the world, fix draconian health care system, start search for a puppy.
Now that you're settled in, Mr. President: no more slacking.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to evening calisthenics. This happened six years ago today, as First Lady Michelle Obama was promoting her initiative to get We The People (especially kids) to exercise more, which she called “Let’s Move!” This sketch with Jimmy Fallon---The Evolution of Mom Dancing---racked up over 26 million views. It’s too great to let it fall into the cracks of history, so enjoy this encore…
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Following Michelle’s lead, the day the current First Lady took up residence in the White House she unveiled her own initiative to her husband: “I’m Moving Into the Lincoln Bedroom.”
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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