From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Energize An Ally Tuesday
I need you to make a huge donation today. Not money—just lots of positive “Big-D” vibes to Daily Kos-endorsed Dan McCready, who is facing off against his second Republican opponent in less than a year for a congressional seat in North Carolina's 9th District. They're having the re-do because last November the Republican candidate ran a campaign so rife with election fraud that the results were thrown out and, at taxpayer expense, a new one had to be scheduled. Heckuva job, party of personal responsibility.
Even though Trump won this district by a jillion percent in 2016, the race is now dead-even. McCready has run a smart and aggressive grassroots campaign, while his opponent—the guy who authored the state's now-dead anti-trans "bathroom bill" and compared LGBT citizens to the Taliban—has been so awful that Taliban-cuddler Trump had to fly in last night to try and prop him up. (Did you notice how much he flop-sweated? That’s a guy who knows his will be the first statue installed at the Loser’s Pavilion next to the Washington, D.C. sewage treatment plant.)
By my rudimentary calculation, a Dem pickup here would result in—[Clackity Clack Clack Clackity Ding!]—humiliation for the Republican party, while casting North Carolina's 9th in a favorable light for refusing to reward the party that cheated over the party that didn't.
Things are tight as a tick now, with McCready decently-positioned to flip the red seat blue for the first time since 1963. It's health care, jobs and education versus ignorance and bigotry. Polls close at 7:30 pm. (Click here for election day voting info.) Send those vibes now and may the best Dan McCready win.
Follow Dan on Twitter here and evil Facebook here.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 10, 2019
Note: Tomorrow is Kos's birthday. Just so we don’t both get him the same thing: I bought him a Tickle Me George Soros action figure with freedom-strangling grip and a copy of Das Kapital with a hidden dagger inside. Maybe you can get him some biking socks?
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By the Numbers:
Days til Star Wars Episode IX: 100!!!
Days 'til the All-Star Craft Beer, Wine, and Cocktail Festival in Minneapolis: 4
Jobs added in August, 30,000 of which are temporary census jobs: 130,000
Percent of Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents who support Biden, Sanders and Warren, respectively, for president in the latest ABC News-Washington Post poll: 27%, 19%, 17%
Percent of those in the earliest 18 primary states who support Warren, Biden, and Sanders, respectively: 26%, 25%, 19%
Drop in exports to China over the last year: 22%
Date on which Maine astronaut Jessica Meir takes off for a stint at the International Space Station: 9/25/19
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Morning dance…
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CHEERS to "spook"-ing the opposition. There's plenty of competition among Democrats vying for the chance to fill Rep. Ben Ray Luján's seat (he's running for Senate to succeed Tom Udall) in New Mexico's 3rd district. But yesterday a new candidate kicked up some serious dust when she announced she was jumping in. It was a far cry from the days when she had to be quiet as a mouse as a covert CIA spy. If you're a little hazy recalling the Bush administration's act of revenge on Valerie Plame, she's happy to hit the gas and give you a refresher…
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Her tagline: "Mr. President, I've got a few scores to settle." Just what Trump doesn’t need right now: a member of Congress with a photographic memory and a spycam embedded in one eye who can blend in with the Oval Office wallpaper.
JEERS to the terrorist-enabler-in-chief. Remember when President Obama tried to shut down Gitmo by suggesting we transfer the inmates to maximum security federal prisons, and Republicans lost their shit because they were dead-certain the terrorist suspects (none of whom have been convicted after 18 years) would escape and rape all the womenfolk? They called him every name in the book and threatened him with impeachment. (Then again, they called him every name and threatened impeachment every day, but I digress.) Over the weekend they were strangely silent when Obama's successor announced that he was planning to have leaders of the al Qaeda-enabling Taliban over for brunch in the lightly-guarded woods of Camp David, but called it off at the last second because the chef had overcooked the eggs benny. Now, of course, the enemy he wanted to wine and dine on American soil is laughing at him:
The Taliban have hit back at President Donald Trump's dramatic cancellation of an imminent Afghanistan peace agreement, suggesting his erratic diplomacy is damaging his credibility.
According to BBC correspondent Lyse Doucet, a Taliban spokesperson said Sunday that the president's weekend tweets had come as a surprise to the group. Trump announced on Twitter on Saturday that he was shelving the peace deal following the killing of a U.S. soldier in Kabul last week.
Another Taliban spokesperson warned on Sunday that Trump's abandonment of the proposal would only result in more American deaths. Zabihullah Mujahid said Trump's decision "will lead to more losses to the U.S....Its credibility will be affected, its anti-peace stance will be exposed to the world, losses to lives and assets will increase."
I almost wish the Camp David meeting had happened, just so I could finally know that the Taliban got the excruciatingly-painful payback it deserved by having to sit in a room and listen to Donald Trump.
JEERS to the not-so-pious putz. Hey, students and grads of Liberty University, you know how those of us with functioning bullshit detectors have been telling you for years (and years) that your "Heaven-sent" leader Jerry Falwell Jr. is just a grifter and you're all his ATMs? You know how you kept telling us no, no, no, that's just Satan talking and besides there's no evidence? Well, journalist and Liberty grad Brandon Ambrosino dumped a few thousand collection plates worth in our lap yesterday. And to paraphrase the line in that old horror movie: the calls are coming from the inside your house of the Lord:
In interviews over the past eight months, they depicted how Falwell and his wife, Becki, consolidated power at Liberty University and how Falwell presides over a culture of self-dealing, directing university resources into projects and real estate deals in which his friends and family have stood to make personal financial gains. […]
“We’re not a school; we’re a real estate hedge fund,” said a senior university official with inside knowledge of Liberty’s finances. “We’re not educating; we’re buying real estate every year and taking students’ money to do it.” […]
The line between where the Falwell family’s wealth begins and Liberty’s finances end is blurry. … “When I hear the laundry list of interested transactions and the questionable use of Liberty University’s assets, I hear a nonprofit that is not well-governed in a sense that I would hope and expect from a sizable nonprofit,” Pitt Law’s Hackney said. “It has the sense of being managed for a charismatic leader and his family and friends rather than for the mission of Liberty.” […] Under Falwell Jr., Liberty University is “a totally dysfunctional organization,” one board member wrote in an email reviewed for this article.“Very similar to Trump’s White House.”
Plus all the sex stuff in the article that we won’t excerpt on account of we figure you're still eating breakfast. But the conclusion after reading Ambrosino's deep-dive is obvious: in the face of his rampant corruption, perversion, palm greasing, and outright sinning now sitting in the sunlight like a fresh turd on a hot day, it's gonna be all-hands-on-deck tonight down at the mulligan factory.
CHEERS to happy endings. Speaking of religion nutcases...
Uber has fired a driver who kicked out two Camden County women from her car after they kissed, the company confirmed in a statement. One of the women, Kristin Michele, recorded the incident and had posted it on her personal Facebook page—and it went viral.
She says the driver told them to get out of the car because their lifestyle violated her beliefs.
And now that she's been separated from that sinful ride-sharing company, she won’t have to deal with those damned sinners anymore. Very thoughtful of you to save her soul like that, Uber. Now she can devote all her time to being God's personal chauffeur. I'm sure that'll pay the bills.
JEERS to a very bad bench warmer. Twenty-eight years ago today, the Senate Judiciary Committee opened hearings on the nomination of Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. He was, of course, the first porn addict to be elevated to the nation's highest bench. And that's what I love about this country—our devotion to diversity.
CHEERS to talkin' and textin' and takin' pitchurs…oh my! In a ritual now more widely anticipated than the unveiling of the latest Ben & Jerry's flavor (“Deez Nuts,” right?), Apple unveils its latest iPhone today. Among the alleged new secrets of the iPhone 11:
• It will be the first iPhone to run iOS 13 out of the box
• It’ll likely be the first iPhone to boast a triple-camera setup on the rear
• Apple’s new A13 chipset will power it
• It could potentially host the largest battery of any iPhone to date
• It could launch alongside an iPhone 11 Pro and iPhone 11 Pro Max – so there’ll be three models altogether
• 5G connectivity is unlikely to feature on any of this year’s iPhones
I don’t understand what any of that means. But it doesn’t matter. I’m still holding out for the most important feature I need in a smart phone: a beeper that goes off right before I’m about to run into a lamp post.
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 10, 2009
CHEERS to famous firsts. Sonia Sotomayor was sworn in as an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. (I wasn't aware that the hokey pokey was a part of it, but I must admit she put her hands and feet in and out and shook 'em all about like a pro.) As she started to take her victory lap, she said, "That's one small step for a wise diabetic Latina, one giant leap for humankind." And later:
"Made it, Ma! Top 'o the world!"
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the final countdown. Ending today's column on a bit of a bittersweet note. This is the last time in the 42-year history of the Skywalker saga when humanity will be able to stand as one and say: "Only 100 days 'til the next Star Wars movie!" J.J. Abrams promises a rollicking ride, the cast is coming out of their socks over how good it is, and even composer John Williams (who's in the process of writing his last 30 minutes of music for the saga) "told fans that they will be very pleased with the ending of the forthcoming Star Wars Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker" when it opens December 19th. While we wait, enjoy Darth Vader's scenes from the 1977 original, dubbed with lines from other James Earl Jones movies:
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May the Force Be With Your Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Okay. A warning, here it is, the ultimate trigger sculpture, kind of culinary sculpture, it has everything that Democrats hate: steak, plastic straws, and light bulbs. And if I could have put the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool on this I would have."
—Laura Ingraham
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