Trump delivers outrage #1. The press breaks out its umbrage gear and goes in search for a fresh supply of high dudgeon. Trump delivers outrage #2. The press protests that they hadn’t even even finished calibrating their mordacity over outrage #1. Trump delivers outrage #3. The press drops #1 and hurries past #2 in an effort to catch up. Trump delivers outrages #4 through #117. The press wanders off in vexed vexation, chasing after first one story then the next like an inexperienced dingo confused by a herd of bouncing kangaroos.
Trump’s Gish Gallop was wildly successful during the campaign. It not only delivered Trump the White House, it kept the press from ever uniting around a story like his unlawful use of his foundation, or cheating his workers and contractors, or his ties to Russia. Each media outlet was kept so busy batting at the story of the day that few even bothered to dedicate reporters to any section of Trump’s outrage-scape. Hillary’s problem? She just didn’t do enough wrong.
Saying the worst thing imaginable, then following it up with something unimaginable, wasn’t just a winning strategy, it was an end run around both the logistics and the limits that are supposed to define a campaign.
Now Trump is engaged in filling out his cabinet. It’s a cabinet that includes an EPA chief who is suing the EPA, a secretary of education out to destroy public schools, and a labor secretary who wants to get rid of human workers. And that’s on top of putting a heap of generals in charge of defense positions that violate a long-standing ban on handing the military over to recently retired officers. Oh, and a fine selection from the same firm Trump treated as anathema during the campaign.
Trump’s cabinet is filling up with radical ideologues, science deniers, and spreaders of fake news; every one of them absolutely the worst choice for the position that could be located if NASA and the NSA worked together on the task for a decade.
Which is, of course, the point. Because if just one or two candidates this awful were put forward, the press might dwell on the resounding lack of qualifications and utterly vile statements. The Senate—even Republicans in the Senate—might actually find their balls long enough to wave a hanky in protest.
But by making sure that every damn one of these bozos raises the bar for bozoness, Trump is likely to land every one without more than a passing feint at scrutiny. Which is what he wants. Because somewhere in the pile is likely to be someone he actually cares about.
There’s a good reason Trump hasn’t selected a secretary of state. Because he’s about as concerned about who gets that title as he is about whether or not the chocolates landing on the pillows at the Trump International are Fair Trade. The same likely goes for all those generals he’s piling up—though as a kid who performed poorly in military school, it probably tickles Trump to have all that brass for the kicking.
Trump doesn’t care about secretary of state. He’s got a passing interest in things like Interior and EPA, but only to the extent that they allow him to vent his anger at the wind mills he blames for ruining the view at one of his golf courses. And Ben Carson can sleep through HUD and dream about how many people he can fit in a pyramid. In fact, not being qualified is his sole qualification.
Mainly Trump cares about parking Sessions at Justice. Both because picking the anti-Civil Rights Sessions warms Trump’s deep reservoir of revenge over the times he was sued for blocking minority renters from his apartments, and because getting Jefferson Beauregard the third locked in place means Trump need not fear any legal action for anything he has done, is doing, or will do.
Sessions is literally Trump’s get out of jail free card. He cares about that bigly.
Trump also cares about his Goldman buddies, because Cohn and Mnuchin, along with Wilbur Ross, can be counted on to manipulate US economic policy in the way that most benefits Trump. They all have experience in not just gutting companies for money, but taking away people’s homes and jobs to increase profits and gin up bonuses. They’ll get to really apply that expertise with Trump.
In addition to the secretary of state job, there are still some other openings in the Trump cabinet. Agriculture. Interior. The V.A. To fill those jobs, Trump is actively looking for the most offensive, the most destructive, the most insensitive people he can find. The “pizzagate” shooter might work—though it would be nice if he was richer.
It really doesn’t matter. So long as they’re outrageous, you won’t be too outraged. Because, really, he’s got a neo-Nazi serving as chief strategist. And he probably cares about that one.