Monday Morning Perspective
“Suddenly, from behind the rim of the Moon, in long, slow-motion moments of immense majesty, there emerges a sparkling blue and white jewel, a light, delicate sky-blue sphere laced with slowly swirling veils of white, rising gradually like a small pearl in a thick sea of black mystery. It takes more than a moment to fully realize this is Earth … home.”
- Edgar Mitchell -
“We went to the Moon as technicians; we returned as humanitarians.”
If it’s any help, I’ve got a catapult I’d be happy to loan NASA for the task. And a list of candidates who should go first.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 8, 2016
Note: Must-see TV Alert! Full Frontal with Samantha Bee---the brilliant Daily Show alum---premieres tonight at 10:30ET on TBS. See a sneak peak of her segment on VA care for women here.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Democratic Nevada caucus: 12
Days 'til the Newport Winter Festival in Rhode Island: 4
Current official jobless rate in the U.S.: 4.9%
Estimated number of refugees recently fleeing Aleppo, Syria because of attacks by the forces of al-Assad and Putin: 40,000
Pounds of metals that ended up getting dumped in the Animas River in the wake of that Gold King Mine breach in Colorado, according to the EPA: 880,000
Number of documented wild jaguars in the U.S.: 1 (in Arizona)
Percent chance that pornography is a public health crisis in Utah, according to a state senate panel led by Sen. Todd Weiler: 100%
Totally Random Super Bowl 50 Score:
Denver Broncos 24 Carolina Panthers 10
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NEW! “Meet Me in St. Louis”
Brought to you by the 2016 Netroots Nation Convention in St. Louis, July 14-17. Yes, St. Louis will blind you with science!
The Saint Louis Science Center, founded as a planetarium in 1963, is a collection of buildings including a science museum and planetarium in St. Louis, Missouri, on the southeastern corner of Forest Park.
With over 750 exhibits in a complex of over 300,000 square feet (28,000 m2), it is among the largest of its type in the country, and according to the Association of Science and Technology Centers, is one of the top 5 science centers in the United States. …
The northern and southern sections of the Science Center are connected via a pedestrian bridge over the interstate, which also has science exhibits, such as radar guns which visitors can use to investigate traffic patterns. Admission to the Science Center is free through a public subsidy from the Metropolitan Zoological Park and Museum District. The Center is one of only two science centers in the United States which offers free general admission.
The official SLSC web site is here. If they’re still showing Star Wars VII on IMAX, we’re all going on a little field trip.
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Puppy Pic of the Day:
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CHEERS to Team D sightings. Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton made favorable impressions on the universe in wildly different ways over the weekend. On Saturday night, Bernie demonstrated his acting chops next to his doppelganger Larry David with a hilarious turn on Saturday Night Live. (And the Bern Your Enthusiasm segment explains Bernie's narrow loss in Iowa.) And yesterday, Hillary spent some time where Michigan's governor won't: in Flint…
"I wish I was here to only celebrate the good things that were happening in this church and this community," said Clinton. "For nearly two years, Flint's water was poisoned." She spoke of mothers and fathers expressing to her rashes and other ailments that were mentioned to her in speaking with some families "and for nearly two years, you were told Flint was told the water was safe."
"This has to be a national priority, not just for today or tomorrow. Clean water is not optional, my friends," she said, adding "What happened in Flint is immoral."
That reminds me: did you see the birthday cake Michigan’s King Rick Snyder XIV bought his wife for her birthday last week and gave to her during a swank 1-percenter party that was so exclusive the restaurant blacked-out the windows? Oh, you really must. [<--- Click] Message: they care.
JEERS to robot wars. Well, that was horrible. After a brief multi-candidate pileup behind the curtain caused by Ben Carson, the Republicans' 2016 "deep bench" held a debate in New Hampshire Saturday night. The only thing that anyone will remember is Chris Christie shutting down every lane of traffic inside Marco Rubio's head. After defining the Rubio MO---"The drive-by shot at the beginning with incorrect and incomplete information, and then the memorized 25-second speech that is exactly what the advisers gave him"---Rubio couldn't find the toggle switch in his brain to disable the autoplay function and, well, this happened...
We hear the thank-you card Trump sent Christie the next day was yooj.
CHEERS to a victory for religious nerdism. We take you to Arizona, where we've finished transcribing what just went down there:
Phoenix City Council: We always open our meetings with a Christian prayer.
Satanists: The Supreme Court says you have to allow for diversity in your opening prayers, so when can we open a meeting with one of our satanic prayers?
Phoenix City Council: Okay, no more opening prayers ever. From anyone.
Satanists: Yay!
Phoenix City Council: We'll do a moment of silence instead.
Satanists: Can it be a satanic moment of silence?
Phoenix City Council: [Sigh] Whatevs.
Satanists: Yay!
Those meddling kids. Bless their horns.
JEERS to paying-for-playing. On February 8, 1960, Congress opened hearings on payola, a scheme in which disc jockeys (Dick Clark among them) accepted payment for playing and hyping certain records. Payola was outlawed, and it became punishable by a maximum $10,000 fine. Meanwhile members of Congress accept payment every day for playing favorites with and hyping corporate interests over the public interest, an offense punishable by a fat paycheck, a full pension, gold-plated healthcare benefits, and guaranteed employment in the lobbying sector if they get booted from office. My point is: shame on the record industry---that was just wrong!
CHEERS to second chances. If 2016 hasn't gotten off to a good enough start for you, here's good news: you get a do-over! Today marks the start of the Chinese New Year---#4713. Specifically, the Year of the Monkey. If you were born in 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004 or 2016 you are defined by...
…a spirit of innovation, best evoked in the West by Renaissance artist Leonardo da Vinci who was born in a Monkey year.
Extremely curious and thirsty for knowledge, Monkeys are never happier than when absorbing facts and information and, possessed of a near photographic memory, usually retain all that they have learned. Bored with mundane, day-to-day details, they love confronting a challenging problem that calls upon their considerable genius.
Enthusiastic and out-going, the wise Monkey should refrain from meddling in other people’s business even if they have the perfect solution to their problems. Tolerating others’ shortcomings is also an essential life lesson that Monkey people need to learn.
There will be a lot of jokes comparing politicians to monkeys. But that's unfair. To the monkeys.
CHEERS to 106 years of helping old ladies across the street. The Boy Scouts of America was incorporated on this date in 1910. For years I hesitated to give the organization a shout-out like this because of their seemingly-intractable policy of hating on the gays and the non-believers. But I always did it anyway to let the BSA know that, despite their ban---which to their credit they repealed a couple years ago---the country is crawling with current and former gay scouts. Among them you can include my partner Michael and me. Even more delicious: our Eagle certificates are signed by Saint Ronald Reagan. Of course, there are still a lot of narrow-minded people still fuming over the BSA's new openness (the next thing that needs to go is the ban on non-believers which is still in place). So today we won't need to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together---we'll just wait for the bigots to self-combust.
Ten years ago in C&J: February 8, 2006
CHEERS and JEERS to the two faces of Earth. At the Alaska Forum on the Environment, scientists agreed that "there's no uncertainty" about whether we've left the planet in the oven too long. Meanwhile, scientists in West Papua have discovered that there's a teeny tiny piece of the world that hasn't been spoiled by the species homo sapiens stupidus. The wildlife had never seen humans before and decided we were friendly and non-threatening. A few hundred tour buses and a Wal-Mart will fix that.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the Energizer Maestro. Woo-hoo! It's time for our annual "Happy Birthday" salute to 21-time Grammy winner, 5-time Oscar winner, Lifetime Contribution to Hollywood Award winner (as of last week) and rock-ribbed dirty fucking hippie union-loving Democrat John Williams. He is hands-down my favorite composer, and there's not a whole lot of pushback against the claim that he's America's greatest living composer period. Over a span of fifty-plus years he's given us:
>> One iconic theme for NBC Nightly News
>> Two Jaws scores
>> Two Jurassic Park scores
>> Three Harry Potter scores
>> Four Indiana Jones scores
>> Five themes for various Olympic Games
>> Seven Star Wars scores (including The Force Awakens which earned him his 50th Oscar nomination)
>> 20 scores for episodes of Gilligan's Island
>> 26 scores for Steven Spielberg movies---soon to be 27 and I can't wait to hear what he's cooked up for The BFG (i.e. Big Friendly Giant)
He's also composed music involving a gaggle of American presidents: John F. Kennedy (JFK), John Quincy Adams/Martin Van Buren (Amistad), Tricky Dick (Nixon), Lincoln (Lincoln) and Obama (a piece for the first inauguration, in which he expressed "in a very simple and not ostentatious way the solemnity and beauty of the moment and the promise of the moment"). I was going to post a video of him conducting his Grammy-winning Olympic theme, but it's gonna be uniquitous once the summer games start in Rio. So instead I give you the best use of Darth Vader’s theme in this classic ad that puts everything that ran during last night’s Super Bowl to shame:
Have a tuneful Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
For all the hoopla, not everyone in Cheers and Jeers is happy that Bill in Portland Maine has come into the kiddie pool.
---CBS This Morning
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