From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Nifty, Nifty, Look Who’s [Redacted]!
Michelle Obama is the ninth First Lady I've known (well, not personally, but a boy can dream), and we have a lot in common. She's a wife, a mom, a lawyer and a strong advocate for our veterans. I'm a domestic partner, the spawn of a mom, a lawyer's nightmare and I believe our veterans deserve to be well taken care of on our nickel for the rest of their lives. We both pamper our dogs. For four months and 12 days of each year, we're the same age. She tweets and I tweet. She told Barack before he went onstage at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, "Don’t screw it up, buddy," which is the same thing my partner Michael tells me before I go in the kitchen to refill the ice cube tray.
It's like looking into a mirror, I tell ya. Except I'll concede that most mirrors will tell you she's a bit more photogenic than I am:
Today is the last time she'll celebrate a birthday as the sitting First Lady, so it's the perfect opportunity for me to say: thank you for being such an amazing role model---not only in terms of your own grace and humor and intelligence and optimism and down-to-earth authenticity (I'll stop there for space reasons---my list of attributes is 12 pages long, single spaced, triple-column), but also for throwing open the doors of the White House and making it feel more like the "People's House" than any time I can remember. I know there's no job description or requirements for the role of presidential spouse, but I think it's fair to say that you set the bar just about as high as it can go. You rocked it.
In conclusion: Happy happy happy (I'll stop there for space reasons---my list of happys is also 12 pages long) birthday, FLOTUS!
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Note: A Picasso is not a drink coaster. I understand that now.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Women's March on Washington: 4
Days 'til the Coralville Brrr Fest in Iowa: 11
Weekly jobless claims last week according to the Labor Dept., 8,000 lower than expected and the 97th week under 300k: 247,000
Percent of Americans in a Pew survey who say Russia's power and influence is a major threat to the United States, versus 42% who said that last April: 54%
Date that the U.S. Mint releases it's $100 gold coin featuring the image of Liberty as a black woman: 4/6/17
Percent chance that the Mint will also be issuing gold coins featuring Liberty as an Indian-American, Hispanic-American and Asian-American, according to AP: 100%
Age of the moon based on new estimates using moon soil samples collected in 1971: 4.51 billion years
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Puppy Pic of the Day: "The First Lady will be a bit late as she has been unexpectedly detained…"
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CHEERS to a day of giving. President Obama started his Monday afternoon by giving the World Series champion Chicago Cubs some good-natured guff at the White House:
“I made a lot of promises in 2008. But even I was not crazy enough to suggest that during these eight years we would see the Cubs win the World Series. But I did say that there’s never been anything false about hope. The audacity of hope. Yes we can!”
The Cubs decided not to wait for Trump to do the honors, fearing that he might show up with a baseball bat and start reciting that Al Capone speech from The Untouchables. After that, the Obama's jetpacked over to the Naylor Road Family Shelter in southeast D.C., where they donated the White House swing set they originally bought in '09 for Malia, Sasha and Joe, then stuck around to help paint a Martin Luther King, Jr. mural:
Meanwhile, Donald Trump did his part to make America a better place during yesterday’s nationwide Day of Service by not being president for another day.
CHEERS to Ben Franklin. The Founding Father, publisher, diplomat, philosopher, and the only American to invent more things than Ron Popeil turns 311 today. He has a few words for the fake news-addled wreck that has become the Republican party:
For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once thought right but found to be otherwise. ... When you're finished changing, you're finished.
Founding father? More like Founding Hippie.
CHEERS to flunking out. Anyone familiar with right-wing pundit Monica Crowley knows what a lying, vicious woman she is. So it goes without saying that she's dishonest, too, and for that she just backed out of a cushy job in the White House. File this under "Busted!"
Ms. Crowley had been dogged by allegations of plagiarism in recent weeks, beginning with a discovery by CNN that she had copied several key passages in a book she published with HarperCollins. A later report in Politico unearthed similar issues in her doctoral dissertation. […]
One person close to the transition said that Ms. Crowley’s role was to have involved overseeing certain speeches, something that would be difficult with the lingering plagiarism questions.
Far be it from me to tell anyone what to do with their life, but I might suggest that her next move be going back to school and earning her degree honestly. And I have the perfect major for her: ethical studies.
JEERS to turning a deaf ear. On this date 56 years ago, during his farewell address in 1961, President Eisenhower warned us all against the rise of the "military-industrial complex." Every year, as his warning appears ever more prescient, this speech ranks right up there with Lincoln's Gettysburg Address or FDR's Four Freedoms speech:
"In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex.
The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together."
Let's see how that's working out: We did let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties and democratic processes. We did take it for granted. And we the ignorant and apathetic citizenry did not compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty are now fighting like rabid dogs. Other than that...Thumbs-up!
JEERS to product development FAIL. Having spent many years in marketing, and knowing how difficult it is to get a product to market, my heart always sinks when I read about a cluster-you-know-what at rollout time. And in the age of Trump, this is really embarrassing…
A California shoe company has recalled a boot after a customer discovered the sole left tiny swastika prints behind.
The boot went viral after a Reddit user posted a picture showing the shoe's tread and its swastika imprints.
Conal International Trading Co, the City of Industry company that manufactures the boot, has since issued a public apology and pulled the shoe. The company said it was "no way intentional" and an "obvious mistake" made by manufacturers in China.
"We will not be selling any of our boots with the misprint to anyone," the company said in a statement.
I find it astonishing that, with all the testing they must’ve done, no one at the company noticed. Although, in their defense, I'll say this: if a swastika belongs anywhere, it's stuck in the mud.
JEERS to yesteryear's sleazebag. Sad to think that you would never catch Republicans approving this kind of punishment of one of their own today. On January 17, 1997, then-Speaker Newt Gingrich---the guy who promised to clean up Washington---accepted a reprimand by the House that included a $300,000 penalty as punishment for ethics violations. Four days later the House voted 395-28 to discipline its leader for ethical misconduct. If memory serves, the sun was shining and the birds were singing that day.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 17, 2007
CHEERS to the wheels of justice. The trial of Vice President Cheney's chief of staff, Scooter Libby, got underway yesterday with selection of a jury of his peers. It was a tedious task. They spent the whole day looking under rocks.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Captain Squeezebox Pissypants. With his inaugural committee hopelessly unable to stop the flow of entertainers bailing left and right (the “B Street Band” is the latest to withdraw), president-elect Trump steps in (as only he can) and lines up the best, most bigly and beautiful act he can find: himself…
The earplug vendors are gonna make a fortune.
Oh, and in addition to Ben Franklin and Michelle Obama, happy birthday also to the late Muhammad Ali (who would've been 75), and the very much alive James Earl Jones (86) and Betty White (95). Which one is really The Greatest? I'd say it’s a five-way tie.
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Bill in Portland Maine's already quite unpopular, and I'm pretty sure he'll stay that way."
---Atrios
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