From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Because I [thumping heart emoji] you so much
The theme of our Who Won the Week poll tonight is "resistance." I don’t normally get a lump in my throat putting these together. It’s usually more of an evil grin, knowing that I’m going to force you to pick just one of at least 10 deserving candidates.
But I’m still on a post-women’s-march high, and I admit I got a bit emotional when I finished tonight’s list. We have a cruel, delusional, unhinged KKK-endorsed baby-man at the helm of this country, and it’s heartening to see how fast the righteously-angry resistance has mobilized, and in ways I never would’ve expected. I mean, seriously, how fucking furious do you think the totally unpopular and already-worst-president-ever was when he saw that Greenpeace banner hanging from that construction crane? He probably sent everyone out of the room so he could have some angry-baby whiny time.
So tonight, for the first time in our WWtW poll’s history, there’s---paraphrasing J.R.R. Tolkien---”one option to rule them all.” I hope you enjoy clicking it as much as I will.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
P.S. Brief correction to the first poll option: California is the sixth-largest economy in the world. C&J regrets the error.
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, January 27, 2017
Note: A quick heads-up that there will be no C&J on Monday. But on the bright side…. Oh, wait, that is the bright side. Never mind. (Back Tuesday!) ---Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi opens: 322
Days 'til the Groundhog Wine Trail Festival in Clearfield, Pennsylvania: 1
Percent of Americans who believed the U.S. would be better off four years after Obama was inaugurated, according to a 2009 Gallup survey: 70%
Percent of Americans who believe the U.S. will be better off in 2020 under Trump: 48%
Percent of Americans who favor a law requiring presidential candidates to release their tax returns, according to a new PPP poll (vs. 34% who say no): 54%
Percent of Americans who favor building the Trump wall with U.S. funds (vs. 53% who say no) via the same PPP poll: 34%
Inches of rain Los Angeles has gotten since October, 216% above normal according to FiveThirtyEight: 13"
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Not quite pussy hats. But close enough!
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CHEERS to sticking together. Well, hallelujah---somebody managed to herd the Democratic cats in the Senate and point them in the right direction…by which I mean the left:
Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) said all of the Democrats on the Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee will oppose Betsy Devos, President Trump’s nominee for education secretary.
Franken broke the news on The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC on Thursday. The committee will vote on whether to confirm the Michigan-based philanthropist on Tuesday of next week, and Franken said Democrats also plan to find Republicans to oppose her. This opposition contrasts with Ben Carson’s confirmation process, which he sailed through earlier this week, despite the fact that he has no experience with housing policy or working in government.
Ahhh…gotta love that fresh party unity feeling. And speaking of herding cats, kudos to TIME for causing their 2016 Person of the Year to have his 100th temper tantrum of his young presidency. Meow, motherfucker…
Up next is the March for Science (date TBA), which will no doubt have plenty of creative headwear on display. If you need me for anything this weekend, I'll be in the basement soldering wires to a colander.
JEERS to Germany's great shame. Today is International Holocaust Remembrance Day, coinciding with the 72nd anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz and Birkenau Nazi death camps...
Elderly survivors at Auschwitz, which today is a memorial site and museum, paid homage to those killed by wearing striped scarves reminiscent of the garb prisoners once wore there.
They walked slowly beneath the notorious gate with the words "Arbeit Macht Frei" (Work Will Set You Free) and made their way as a group to the execution wall, where they lit candles and prayed.
Janina Malec, a Polish survivor whose parents were killed at the execution wall, told the PAP news agency that "as long as I live I will come here," describing her yearly visit as a "pilgrimage."
Today we'll mark the occasion as we always do---by not joking about it.
CHEERS to the good times. On January 27, 1998, Democratic President Bill Clinton told the nation during his State of the Union address that the federal government would have a balanced budget in 1999...the first in 30 years. And then he callously left his Republican successor the back-breaking task of screwing it all up. And then his Democratic successor cleaned it all up. And now his Republican successor will screw it all up. I'm sensing a pattern here.
JEERS to the party of hot air. Republicans claim they're the champions of small-town America. So where do they always go for their conferences? Those big, awful, "crime-infested, carnage-strewn" big cities, of course. They know that's where the luxury accommodations are that will let them luxuriate without having to interact with the rabble in Hayseed Town. And the rubes and yokels they pretend to represent don’t mind a bit as long as they keep punching down at the libtards. Anyway, Philadelphia was the latest liberal metropolis to host the annual GOP "Manicures, Mudpacks and Martinis" retreat, and it's going about as well as you'd expect:
Trump could not help but create a spectacle at the Republican retreat. When he arrived Thursday, he delivered a word salad of a speech---a rambling, self-aggrandizing set of remarks characterized by vague promises, questionable claims, and confusion.
Notably, Trump pledged to Republican lawmakers that he would investigate voter fraud---an issue driven almost entirely by himself, and based on no evidence---prompting a dull silence from Republicans in the crowd, many of whom wish the topic would just go away. […] And it’s not just Trump’s speeches. The seemingly random nature and timing of Trump’s tweets and public statements threaten to upend Republican strategy.
Only now is it dawning on congressional Republicans that they're ants inside a pinball machine, and their leader is a sadistic toddler standing on a stool controlling the flippers. Welcome to the Nightmare Arcade, located at the corner of Tyrant Street and Incompetence Boulevard…in the Twilight Zone.
JEERS to lying liars. On Sunday's date in 2001, President George W. Bush promised to "act boldly and swiftly" to deal with our challenges concerning energy. His brilliant idea: put Cheney in charge of a secret task force that would make sure nothing happened boldly or swiftly. As a result, the big fossil-fuel giants were forced to deal with the challenge of where to sock away all their record profits, thus explaining why the oil barons' mattresses suddenly grew to be twelve stories high. (And under Trump they're gonna need to install an elevator.)
CHEERS to home vegetation. Slim pickin's on TV this weekend, but here's a quick roundup of some of the good stuff: tonight on HBO's Real Time (following the classic The Big Lebowski at 8), Bill Maher talks with Council on Foreign Relations president Richard Haass, asshole Grover Norquist, journalist John Avlon, actress Eva Longoria and Rep. Tim Ryan (D-OH). New home video releases include the Tom Hanks bomb Inferno and the Michael Fassbender bomb The Light Between Oceans. The NHL schedule is here, and the NBA schedule is here. (No football this weekend so the Patriots and Falcons can rest their weary bones and craniums for Super Bowl Fittyone.) On 60 Minutes: a spate of accidental hunting shootings involving the Remington 700 rifle, the Italian ski resort avalanche, and---shaaaame!---cheating going on in professional cycling! The Miss Universe Pageant is on Fox Sunday starting at 7, and my money’s on Miss Orpglorp Centauri-7. The Screen Actors Guild Awards (for movies and TV so it won’t be entirely a La la Land tongue bath) air Sunday at 8 on TNT and TBS.
And here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Ugh---MTP is “kicking off a year-long celebration of its 70th anniversary,” with Tommy Friedman, Michael Steele and other worn-out “all-stars.” Nothing worse than watching the news media kiss their own ring.
This Week: Well, let’s see. There’s Republican press secretary Sean Spicer. And Republican Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell. And Republican former defense secretary Robert Gates. And...that’s it.
Face the Nation: TBA
CNN's State of the Union: New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio; Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH); Ana Navarro is on the panel with some choice and possibly bleep-worthy words for Trump.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Truth teller Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) will give the facts to Chris Wallace, and then Kellyanne Conway will give him the alternative facts.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 27, 2007
JEERS to man-made mayhem. In a report that is sure to stoke outrage among the knuckledraggers among us, a U.N. climate report says there's a 90 percent chance that, since 1950, human activity has been the main cause of global warming. The report also says that, instead of 34-feet, ocean levels will probably rise only 17 feet. Which is good news for everyone. Except, perhaps, those who currently live 16 feet, 11 inches above sea level.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to second chances. Probably fair to say that 2017 has gotten off to a rotten start, no thanks to Preznit Whatzisface. But here's good news: we get a sorta kinda do-over! Tomorrow marks the start of the Chinese New Year---#4714. Specifically, the Year of the Rooster. If you were born in 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005 or after midnight tonight you are defined by...
…tenacity, coupled with a strong commitment to long-term goals.
Sharp and analytical, Roosters are generally deep thinkers and it is a rare occasion when something gets by them. However, probably their one big failing is nit-picking at others' faults.
Though abundantly practical, Roosters are also big dreamers. They are courageous by nature and know how to get what they want.
Shrewd and daring, they are outspoken and even boastful by nature. […]
[T]he Year of the Rooster is best summed up by the phrase "Never give up and never give in".
Roosters also poop all over the place, so watch your step around 'em.
Have a great weekend, rebels. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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