From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Battle To Be #2 Is Joined
A couple weeks ago The Netherlands produced a welcome video for Lord Dampnut, hoping to rise above all other nations to become his BFF 4Evuh. Now a slew of other countries have piled on with their own sales pitches. Even freaking Switzerland...
Disclaimer: I’m told my roots go back to Switzerland, so I'm staying neutral.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 6, 2017
Note: If you can't say something nice about someone, then let loose with every insult, cuss word, disparagement of their mother and threat of God's wrath you can think of.
---Republican proverb
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the next DNC chair is elected: 20
Days 'til the Madison Winter Festival in Wisconsin: 12
Obama's rank among the 12 post-WWII presidents in terms of most jobs created during his administration, according to AP: #4
Number of jobs created between 2009 and 2017, achieving a record 76 straight months of job growth: 11.5 million
Percent of Americans in a new CBS News poll who support Trump's Muslim ban: 19%
Percent in the same poll who want a Supreme Court justice who will vote to overturn Roe v. Wade: 30%
Percent increase in drug overdose deaths in Maine in 2016 on Gov. Paul LePage's watch, according to The Portland Press Herald: 40%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: God bless photoshop….
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CHEERS to order in the court. Well, that was a helluva Friday news dump: federal judge James Robart---a Bush II appointee unanimously confirmed by the Senate long ago---tossed a judicial firecracker into Trump's pants by shutting down his seven-nation "Muslim ban but not a ban but yes it is a ban but no it's not a ban oh fuckit call it whatever ya want" executive order. Summarizes Mark Joseph Stern at Slate:
His questioning was calm but vigorous and persistent. He asked Washington State Solicitor General Noah Purcell how the executive order could discriminate against Muslims when, on its face, it makes no mention of a particular religion.
But he also asked Justice Department attorney Michelle Bennett how the order was rationally related to its stated goals. How many citizens of the seven Muslim-majority countries targeted by the ban, he asked Bennett, had been arrested on domestic terrorism charges since 9/11? She said she didn’t know---but he did. The answer, he said, was zero. […]
Robart recognized that it is not just the ban’s immediate application to immigrants in transit that violates the Constitution; it is the ban as a whole. Even if the administration were to somehow execute the ban in a way that respects its targets’ due-process rights, it would still run afoul of basic equal protection and First Amendment principles.
Trump responded predictably by insult-tweeting Robart, calling him a "so-called judge." Robart resisted the temptation to call Trump a "so-called president" on account of he's no longer a brat in middle school.
P.S. Speaking of judicial fireworks, the Supreme Court has announced its upcoming schedule for March. It includes some major cases that will be decided by eight members, since Neil Gorsuch won’t be seated in time to hear them (or, hopefully, any cases ever). Among them: that transgender high school student's gender-equality case in Virginia. If it's a 4-4 tie, the lower ruling stands and he can finally use the bathroom. And just in time because his bladder is currently the size of a basketball.
CHEERS to happy homecomings. With the travel ban (parts of it, anyway) on ice and sufficiently-vetted immigrants allowed to enter the country again, family reunions are happening all over the country. Like this one in Portland, Maine that left my congresswoman, Democrat Chellie Pingree in tears:
A 20-year-old Iraqi woman and her immigrant family had an emotional reunion in Maine on Friday following a nerve-wracking week during which she was stranded in Iraq because of President Trump’s immigration order. Banah Al-Hanfy met her parents, sisters and extended family after her flight landed at Logan International Airport in Boston on Friday afternoon, and the family returned to Portland in the evening. […]
Labed said the family had been threatened during an uncertain political climate in Iraq---and as someone who worked for the U.S. government, it was always possible his family would be targeted. When they were threatened recently, they had to quickly leave Iraq. But their oldest daughter was left behind and in danger. […]
Pingree said she was outraged by Trump’s “unthinkable” order temporarily banning immigration from seven Muslim-majority countries, which has touched off protests across the United States. Pingree said when her office heard about the Al-Hanfy’s situation, her staff and the group of volunteers did their best to help. “We didn’t want you to get left behind,” Pingree said to Banah.
Welcome to Maine, Banah. My immediate words of advice: watch the sidewalks because they're icy, make a trip to The Holy Donut because they're tasty, and give our governor a wide berth cuz he crazy.
CHEERS to premature departures. The president's nominee to be Secretary of the Army has suddenly pulled his name from consideration. Vincent Viola, a West Point grad who now spends his time owning the Florida Panthers and counting his 1.8 billion dollars in assets, said that he was cutting and running because "his business ties would prove too great to navigate around the confirmation process." In response, Trump publicly thanked Viola for having the honesty and integrity to make such a tough decision, and then privately screamed at his advisers for botching the vetting process so badly that a man with honest and integrity almost made it into his cabinet.
CHEERS to Massachusetts. The commonwealth and somewhat influential original 13-Colonies colony officially became the sixth member of our kooky union on February 6, 1788. And I'd like to remind the right-wing knuckledraggers who bash the state for being a den of anything-goes liberalism that:
a) the Salem witch trials were conducted by ultra-conservatives, b) the freedoms you guys have to speak your evolution-denyin', LGBT-hating minds are largely the result of a bunch of Massachusetts types who shed their blood to make it possible, c) the state has the lowest divorce rate in the country, d) it's the home of Romneycare, the genesis of Obamacare, e) it's also the home of Necco Wafers, making it the cradle of all that is wholesome and perfect and civilized. But we'll concede that Bay Staters---whom I never refer to as "Massholes" to their face unless I'm drunk and wielding a crowbar---do act like fundies in one respect: they drive like they're all late to Second Coming.
P.S. The 2017 Red Sox exhibition games start in 17 days. Yah huh!
CHEERS to happy strolls. At the Cincinnati Zoo, a baby hippopotamus that was born six weeks prematurely took her first walk yesterday. I'll refrain from saying "Awwwwww…" because you're about to do it for me:
Even more amazing: she was chewing gum at the same time, making her instantly more coordinated than half of Congress.
CHEERS to pigskin fever! Here’s a handy Billy-libs cheat sheet to get you through the post-Super Bowl banter around the water cooler today:
Wow---that game was [awesome] [effed up]! Did you see how [quarterback] executed that [pass play] [running play] in the [First] [second] [Third] [Fourth] quarter??? Holy cow! And when [player] took the ball and [ran] [threw] [kicked] for that [touchdown] [field goal] [extra point], that was...well, it was just [amazing] [unbelievable] [bullshit]. At least [half-time entertainer] did a reasonably good job of [singing] [dancing] [eating fire] [exposing his/her nipple]. And the commercial with the [baby] [puppy] [pony] [talking mailbox] was clearly the [best] [worst]. I'll never [forget] [remember] it!!!
But in all [seriousness] [snarkiness], it really was a [great] [sucky] game. And I really [do] [don’t] mean that.
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 6, 2007
JEERS to mangled melons. In Iraq over the weekend, a truck bomb blast in a---you guessed it---crowded market killed 135+, the highest one-day death toll since we invaded. The good news: the insurgents will never target a market again. The bad news: because there are none left to blow up.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the Gipper flickers. Today is Saint Ronald Reagan’s 106th birthday. He made some classic movies, including Kings Row, Knute Rockne: All American, The Killers (the 1964 version, in which he plays a mean sumbitch), and Santa Fe Trail. Oh, and this:
Other than that, I have no recollection of him. Well, except the tax-raising, deficit-ballooning, race-baiting, illegal-arms-trading, AIDS-ignoring, tan-suit-wearing and bowing-to-foreign-leaders part. (And after 35 years---[taps watch]---that trickle-down magic can start anytime now.)
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
“If God builds kiddie pools, it’s going to be nicer than Cheers and Jeers’s, I know. But I tell you what, Bill in Portland Maine's looks like heaven to me.”
---Jim Bakker
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